Hope and Courage

Hi, my name is Cassidy and I've struggled with depression, anxiety, self harm, and pretty much every social situation in the the book! Yes, I just wrote that. Why you ask? Because honesty is the best policy, that's why. Have you figured out what my blog is gonna be about yet? Of course you have! you read the title like any normal person would. If you didn’t then here is a recap: hope and courage! I know, fantastic title right guys?

Anyway with that mess out of the way here is the real intro. Have you ever felt like you let yourself down in life? Like you have never truly reached your potential even though you tried your hardest? Like society is the bane of your existence even though you know it has truly no grasp on you? Well I have, every day since the age of 13. It all started when I was enrolled in a summer program.

It was a normal Saturday, mom got a new job and I was in my room messing around on my old flip phone to try and get the stupid thing to work. I heard her calling me from the kitchen, so I walked over to see what she was going on about this time. She explained that her new job provides this summer program for children with disabilities and she signed me up for it. I thought that she was signing me up to be a volunteer at that place. Turns out I was wrong and I was one of the clients instead.

Now here's the thing, at that time all I really had was ADHD and it didn’t bother me because I was taking pills for it. I thought that was normal, ya know. It didn't occur to me that ADHD was an actual disability, and that alone was enough to qualify for the summer program. This place provided support to adolescents (those aged 6-17) with a variety of   mental illnesses. (I can’t remember all of them because there are too many to name) I spent the first half of the summer thinking “yo, what the hell am I doing here? I don’t belong in this place!” and pretty much blind to the fact that there were people just like me here. News flash, you don’t necessarily need to look or act like you are on the autistic spectrum to be on it. Lets just say I found out the hard way. Aka straight up being diagnosed and going through an identity crisis that involved reevaluating the way I thought, acted, and going through all of the things I mentioned in the first sentence of this blog.

Now usually when a teacher tells you to write about a time when you have showed hope and courage in your life, people write something along the lines of “When I was a certain age ____ happened and it made me feel_____ but I _____ed and it gave me courage and hope to ____ that ____ in the _____! Now I am ____ and everything is _____ !!! YAY!!!” or the opposite of that.  I went with neither of those options. Why? Because the courage aspect of this assignment is in writing this damn thing! It takes courage to put something like this out there, especially someone like me. I am actually a very closed off person.   

-By Cassidy Takeyasu

When I came from Africa I didn't have self confidence and I was shy to make new friends. This condition limited me from being a social person for a long time. What finally caused me to become less shy and more of a social being was social media. Social media was a platform where I could express myself without the constant thought of messing up my way of communicating with people. Social media impacted me positively as it helped me develop courage.

   Hope is also a main part of my life. I worked very hard as an athlete to get to where I am today, and my hope is that one day that hard work will be rewarded, and it's going good so far because scouts are already looking at me and they want me on their rosters for soccer. Without hope I wouldn't try at anything because I would feel like my hard work would go unnoticed. That is not the case though, with my faith in God and my faith in myself I know that I will be rewarded in the long term

-Richard Nyavor

Vulnerability

My vulnerability is meeting new people and being friends with them. I worry that if I tell new people most of the things that I am going through, they won’t tell me what they’re going through and I won’t know a big part of them. I also worry that perhaps I only thought we were close friends. I won't let myself be vulnerable and open up because I also worry that people will tell other people about me.  

In my life sometimes when I go places I change. At home I speak more and interact more with my siblings, but when I go to school I only speak to a few teachers and my friends. I am scared to speak to people that I do not know and I only speak when my friends are around me. When I go to the mall, or something like that, I only talk to the person I am with, and I block out everyone else and I avoid speaking to anyone except when I am spoken. I wish that I could speak to everyone without hesitation but it will not come out.

-By Trez Mountain Horse

That One Person

As human beings, people need to know that they are not alone because without family members, the amount of support and love you receive is altered.  As a young man I believe that role models and inspirational figures are important, and in my life I would have to say that one person is my mother. Personally she will always be a saint, the amount of courage and hope she has shown over the years is, and continues to, drastically influenced my perception in life.

I remember being a child and having bad dreams. The amount of effort it took for her to deal with that was substantial - getting up at random times at night, running to come make sure everything was alright. This not only showed me the discipline of getting up when I need to, but the lessons of patience, kindheartedness and responsibility all tied together.  She would stick it out with me until the “fight” was over, or the dream had ended. There are super heroes all around us and just because they don’t have a costume, or cape, doesn’t mean that they haven’t done something for another person “in need”.

It takes allot of discipline and strength to raise a child. One day I’m sure I will have to do the same for mine, but it blows my mind how hopeful and courageous she is. Words cannot explain the amount of things in life that she has taught me, but I know one thing for sure, along with the mind power to strive even when life puts you down, you must stand back up!

-By Mathieu Boucher

It Can Only Get Better

Last February was a really difficult time.  The passing of my grandma was really hard to get over.  She was my best friend and my role model.  I looked up to her for advice and guidance.  I will always remember the times we cherished especially watching the Jays Game and her saying “Let’s play ball.”  My life changed so much after finding out she had left me for good.  Growing up as a kid I never had any worries about life because she was by my side.  I’d constantly think to myself that life could only be so much more enjoyable as years passed. Nevertheless, it really was not.

Ever since that date, that tragic date, I have not felt like myself. I struggle to feel like I have a place in society and I constantly put myself down.  I’m always worried about a lot of things because I feel like I get judged on the way I dress, how I do my hair, whether I wear makeup or not, the way I act and all the little things like that.  An increasingly amount of darkness has overtaken my life and I just can’t seem to find any light to make it better.  The only time I really feel myself is when I am around my close friends and I consider those people family because they really are.  Whenever I’m just sitting out on the front porch or just in my bedroom I get a feeling and it’s not a good feeling.  I have these weird thoughts that go through my head and they stop me from achieving the things I want to do.   It makes me feel like I am trapped and I have no way out.  I feel as if courage and hope really help everybody out with the hardships in their life.  I know I struggled to believe in myself and now I finally feel like things are looking up for me.  Family is the most important thing to me and I strongly feel like I can do anything I set my mind to, I've just got to believe in myself!

-By Brooke McGinnis

Finding Myself

For most of my life I had lived in the same place, a small town in British Columbia just west of Prince George.  It is what I was familiar with, I felt safe there. I had good friends, and even better family. This all changed for me when I moved to Lethbridge in 2011. Moving to a new city is intimidating for anyone, making new friends, starting a new school. I was starting Grade 7, nervous, longing for acceptance from others. I spent a lot of my time worrying, worrying what others thought about me, and worrying who was looking - just like any kid my age. Throughout most of my school days I felt this way, eating away my happiness.  It took time, but eventually I got sick of worrying, ultimately for no reason. I came to realize that what others think of me really doesn’t matter, nor do I need to be accepted by them. This was a very significant chapter in my life that took some courage to overcome, but in conclusion shaped me into who I am today. It opened my perception on my peers and the way I live out my life. I lost people who I thought were my friends and gained ones I thought I would never have. I am grateful for the experiences I had to undergo and wouldn’t have wanted it any other way. Our past is what makes us into what we are today, and what we know. Nevertheless, being through what I have I would encourage others to do what took me so long to learn. Have the courage to live your life for yourself and don’t worry about what others think about you because a lot of the time they aren’t even comfortable with themselves.

-By Kaelan Baker

Decisions

The darkness in my life is the fear of not knowing, It’s scary to feel like I don’t know what to do next; I just exist. My high school career is almost ending and I only chose want I wanted to do a couple of weeks ago. I don’t know if I’ll succeed in this new chosen path and I’m trying to really hard to take this chance, but isn’t taking a chance kind of like having hope? When you hope for something it’s a gamble and you don’t know if you’re going to make it through or crash and burn, but you do it anyway. It takes courage to walk through the darkness and find a light.

Looking ahead is a lot easier than looking behind, at least there's a surprise awaiting you ahead. It’s hard to leave your comfort zone and just wing it, but how else do you move further and open more doors? I’m a shy and keep to myself kind of person, and for me to actually get out there and associate with people makes me a little anxious, but it always gets better. The darkness can morph try to drag you down or make you lost, but finding a light isn’t as hard as you think it just takes a little courage to get through it.

-By Timberly Pace

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MgO1LYAqMmI
This is a song called "Pork and Beans" by Weezer; it is about doing what you want in life and not following the crowd.

Fighting the Statistics

What I am passionate about is cooking. I have always loved it since I was a kid, I just never thought to make it a career until now.  My future involves going to college to attend the culinary careers program after I’m finished High School. After I graduate from college I am moving to Vancouver to start my restaurant and the rest of my life. I am scared and I think everyone is when they graduate. I’m scared because it’s a whole new school, people and experiences. I am scared because it will be a brand new city that will take me a while to adjust to.  I guess I’m just scared of the unknown because while I have everything planned out, I just don’t know what the future holds for me.  There is for sure one thing I am scared of and continue to fight every day of my life, being a statistic.  Being an aboriginal youth in this city makes me stick out.  Being educated, well dressed in foster care and being raised by a ``white`` woman makes me stick out 100 times more. There have been times where I thought of dropping out like I've seen some of my aboriginal friends do.  Instead I've studied as much as I can trying to get good grades, making it on the honour roll, winning awards and graduating from high school.  I will continue to fight being a statistic even after I graduate. I will fight it because cooking is what I`m passionate about, so instead of giving up I will continue to get an education, get a job, and start my business. Because I was given a second chance at life I have been given the courage to keep fighting, proving everyone and the statistics wrong.

-By Seleena Eagle Speaker

 http://www.pc.gov.au/research/ongoing/overcoming-indigenous-disadvantage/key-indicators-2011/key-indicators-2011-factsheet-youth.pdf
This is a link to research on indigenous youth.  These studies show the struggles that indigenous youth face on a daily basis and these are the statistics I am fighting. 

It's Magic

I have never thought about things I am passionate about. The only thing that springs to mind is a trading card game called Magic the Gathering. It is a strategy game with a fantasy twist to it. Magic can be played by two players in various formats, the most common of which uses a deck of 60+ cards. It is a very hard game to become a pro at. I have been playing for almost 5 years now and am not even close to becoming pro at Magic. About 3 and half years back I heard of a tournament called the Pro Tour. It is one of the biggest Magic tournaments in the world. First place prize is        50 000 U.S dollars. The top matches at the Pro Tour are steamed live on Twitch and YouTube.

 I would love to go to the Pro Tour, but I have never tried. It is very hard to qualify for the Pro Tour. I get nervous just thinking about it. I have never had the courage to try. It is one of the few things I am passionate about and I can’t go all the way with it. If I can’t find the courage to do something I am passionate about then what happens when I face a challenge I don’t like?  Is it the other way around?  Maybe it’s hard to do because I do care about this, like an artist showing off this work. If I did good in any of the big tournaments hundreds of thousands would see me. I always have had stage fright. I have thought about giving up hope on trying to get into the Pro Tour, but if Mrs. Gardner's English 30-2 class has taught me anything it’s not to give up hope, because hope is essential to overcome the changes in your life.  I'm not letting anything stop me from perusing my passion. 

-By Draydin Kowal

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w0lMcAdXopg
This is a link to explain the feel and idea of the game.

Strength From Within

People who can seek out challenges and take risks are able to grow as a person gaining wisdom and confidence. I myself would not know what I do without taking risks and facing challenges. Risks may make us feel uncomfortable but taking them is one of the only ways to truly  grow.

We are all faced with challenges no matter how great. If we stay true to yourself and have confidence that something better will come we can face anything. In the moment challenges may seem impossible to complete but most of the time we are stronger than we think. As long as we have confidence when facing challenges when can complete amazing things.

- By Scott Colby

A Fight I Have to Win

The monsters I have are trapped in my own head, it’s kind of like them being under my bed or hidden in the closet, but in this case I will always carry them with me. Everyday they try to grow and and bring me down in the process because I can do little to stop the growth. I can only get stronger than the monsters that I need to defeat. The monsters make it their goal to keep me down and make me feel like I am alone in the world with no one to turn to for help. No matter how hard the monsters work to keep me down or how big they grow, I can only become stronger. I need to fight not only for myself but for the people that need me to help them. It isn’t until I see all the people that need me that I gain more strength to help me win. I know that I cannot simply leave them on their own. Once a fight has been won the monsters will retreat into the back of my mind and I am left to prepare for the next battle.

-By Katherine White

Your Heart Beats for a Reason

Having courage and hope are a big factor in the things that I like to do. I like to do things that get my heart rate going and make it beat outta my chest. Maybe I'm an adrenaline junkie? It’s hard for me to get excited about anything except for longboarding. Bombing down a hill at 50 km/hr hoping I’m not gonna fall, I feel alive. There are two steps to bombing a hill, the first is have the courage to do it, and the second is the hope that you won’t eat the road. Trust me though, no matter how good of a rider you are, eventually you will fall. For me though road rash is like a medal, something with a story behind it. If you’re scared to get hurt then go home wrap yourself in bubble wrap and climb into your closest because there isn't enough time in life to be scared of things. There is no particular meaning to life, life is what you make of it. Do things that make you happy everyday and find something you’re passionate about. Find something that will make you want to get up out of bed in the morning. I spend months of my life longboarding everyday when it’s warm. It’s one of the only things that makes me happy and gives me a sense of purpose. There are clubs and groups in Lethbridge dedicated to learning or just going and riding with other riders. You get a sense of home and acceptance with people that share the same passion. I watch video after video on youtube and watch techniques to improve my riding, simply because I enjoy watching the pros do what they are the best at doing. I’m always scared at the top of a hill, but it’s a good kind of scared. A sense of feeling alive comes with doing things that could take life away because it makes you realize the value and importance of life. Stop wasting your life and go do the things that you want to do, and don't let anyone tell you that you can’t.

-By Clark Cryderman

Sport That I Love

What I am passionate about is playing volleyball. Since I was a little kid, I have been playing basketball and I really loved it. I would wake up in the morning and put my shoes, shorts, and t-shirt on and head to the basketball court. I even forgot to eat my breakfast, that’s how addicted I was to basketball. When I got into junior high school, I tried out for St. Francis, but I never made the team, instead, volleyball came into my mind, so I gave it a try.

After the tryouts, the coach told me that I had potential skill at volleyball and that I made the team. He told me that he will make me a better player. I played volleyball at St. Francis for three years and continued my passion here in CCH from grade 10 to 12. I have had so many achievements and improvements. I achieved all I have because I work really hard, and love this sport. This sport brings me joy because I realized at first that I have potential skills for this sport. Every time I step on the volleyball court, I feel like teammates are always there for me, and they do not get down on me every time I make mistakes. I think that to love your passion, you must be good at it because how are you going to love it if you aren't skilled at it? Passion is where we showcase our best skill and bring the best of ourselves forward.

-By Mark Cereza

Monsters

What is a monster?

Monsters are the little things that you don’t want people to know. It is something deep that is a secret or something you fear. Some monsters that I have are problems that I can’t push away or kick them out from under my bed. In fact, some of the monsters are too big to fit under my bed, so some of them just stand there in front of me, looking me dead in the eyes. Some of these monsters don’t disappear if the light is on. These monsters of mine are evolving into human form. If these monsters evolve we also have to evolve to face them. People  should face their fears. Monsters will die, they will not always be there to scare you, but new fears will come out under your bed and show themselves to you and then you get a new monster that will drag you down. However, when those monsters die it gives you a chance to fight and push forward and get past what you couldn’t get past when they were still alive. Some monsters are not bad, some are good and may help because they may keep you alive and they will help you live life. Monsters are not always bad, they are good sometimes, but most times they are bad. Just keep pushing and fight for you freedom from fears.

- By Keegan Araki

The Consequences Life Throws At You

Being a twin is something big, but being a triplet now that's a challenge. Being a triplet also has consequences, and for my family that consequence happened to my little brother CJ (Colin but most people know him as CJ). We were with my parents out in Lethbridge wedding dress shopping for my mother because she was about to get married and something was wrong with my brother; he was rushed to the hospital in Lethbridge where we heard that it had to do something with his heart. It was devastating because we knew he wouldn't be able to go to my parents wedding, but my mom snuck him out to go to it anyway.

Later, in grade 10 we were near the end of the year, in quarter 4, when we were told that my brother would have to go in for open heart surgery to get a valve put on his heart and we went to Edmonton for his surgery and a lot of my family showed up for support. On the day of his surgery my family started to leave when he was in surgery, most of my family left including my brother Trez and my sister. My father, mother and I stayed in Edmonton with my brother CJ. After a successful surgery the doctor said that it will take 3-6 weeks for him to recover, but knowing that my brother was still young I knew he would recover fast, before the given time, and I was right. We went home four days after his surgery. In fact, the day after his surgery he started to walk and that's how I knew he would recover fast.

On February 6, 2017 a life changing moment happened, my brother CJ had a severe stroke that could have killed him or could have been prevented, but neither happened, he wasn't killed by the stroke nor was it prevented, but the stroke did cause his right side of his brain to go dead. After that he couldn't move his left side of his body, but he had feeling in it which was a good sign; however, he couldn't move his left arm or leg. I thought this immobility was something that would stay for good. We didn’t know what caused the stroke, but it turned out that it had to do with that valve they put in a couple years before. It seems the valve got infected.

After a couple months in the hospital my brother is now doing fine. There is no more infection on the heart valve and he’s been going to therapy trying to get that left side working again. Through all this all I had was hope, hoping that my brother would be fine would get better. He has been sick all his life, not knowing what was going to happen in the future for him. Through this experience I know that I now have the courage to give my brother CJ, the courage to get through all of this and I know that he already has some of that courage because of what he has been through already. I will try hard to give him even more courage and hope because family in the best courage and hope you will ever need.

-By Dennis Mountain Horse

Figuring Things Out

Everyone’s saying "you should know where you want to go by now", but everything went by so fast that I’ve barely had time to think about it.  I feel like I’m stuck - stranded in a desert, not knowing where to go or what to do.  I'm just looking around, sand burning my feet, trying to find someone to help, but there’s no one, nothing, but sand.  Finally, I see something and I bust with excitement!  I run as fast as I can towards it, but it disappears because it was only an illusion. That’s what happens with me, I find something and it disappears on me, and I have no idea where to go next.  I’ve had ideas on where I want to go, what I want to do with my life after high school, but how do I know it’s the right path? There are so many paths to be taken, and my destiny is just be the one out of 10000. Everyone that I know, knows what they’re going to do, half of them are already signing up for classes for next fall, and here I am still waiting for a sign to know what path I should take.  I had a thought that maybe I’ll take a year off, find myself, and make some money, but then there is the question lies beneath me: "Am I going to go back to school, or will I be too happy making money and not want to go back?" There are so many questions in life that will not be answered until the time is right.  I guess now I’m just waiting for the right time to come to me.  I guess one day I'll figure it out. 

-By Aspen Larson 

The Road

I don't find my life terribly stressful at this point, especially since I’m almost done high school which will be a huge weight off my shoulders when it's done. However, when my life does get stressful I calm down and free my mind by listening to music, working on cars, and most of the time I go to the middle of the mountains to touge. I like to listen to many songs, but one of my favorites, "Seize the Day" by Avenged Sevenfold, stands out to me because of the meaning it has to me. When I listen to it I have always picture it referring to someone who wasted their time and the regrets it and it’s too late for them to go back. The chorus always brings me inspiration to "seize the day". People die and memories fade, so the point is to live now or never.

I have been into the car culture for along time now and hopefully in the future I still will be involved in it. I currently own eight cars, but only one runs and drives, while the others are projects on which I get to learn and improve my skills to get them running and driving. I am hoping to find a place that will let me apprentice, so I can be around what I love to do. My favorite place in the world other than my  farm would be highway 532 in the Rocky Mountains. The road goes through a valley at the top of the mountains then it drops into the bottom of the mountains into a larger valley. Just before the switchbacks start to go down the mountains I love to stop and look over the valley. It makes feel refreshed, energized, and like I can do anything. I learnt to touge on that road with my dad; we used to drive it every weekend in the summer. If I feel stressed and just want to take a break in the summer, I will make the two hour drive from Lethbridge, or four hour drive from my farm just to feel those feelings and to enjoy the relaxing, beautiful drive.

-By Michael Marshall

The Demons Inside Me

I'm going to tell you about how I beat the demons that are inside me, that were controlling me most of my life, and made me angry all the time. When I was a kid I had some very bad stuff happen to me and I was full of anger and hatred ever since. While I was growing older I just got madder and madder at everyone I ever met. I eventually got so mad that I got sent to a place for a few months to help me get my anger under control and to be able to understand people better. After I got out of the place I tried the techniques they taught me and the techniques were starting to work and starting to make me a better person, after so many years of having the demons torture me. Every time I get angry and they start to show up again I just think of the techniques I was taught and it helps slow them down quite a lot, to the point that I can eventually control them and make them disappear completely. The more I think about them the more I realize how easy it was to be able to control them and I recognize that in my past I wasn't trying to stop them, but instead I let them consume me and control me. The only way I'm able to control them is if I face them myself and not ignore them, or brush them off as a small deal because if I do they will come back to haunt me later and be much worse than the small problems they started off as. I defeat my demons by facing them head on and telling them to screw off, or I will fight them if it comes to it. The other way I can defeat my demons is by buying a old car and smash it up over the weeks to the point it doesn't look like a car then send it to the junkyard to kill them off once and for all.  

-By Joshua Page

Courage and hope. Although they may sound different, the meanings of both of those words are often attributed to the the determination that keeps us moving forward. In Language Arts I often wrote stories about fictional characters without telling about my own story. The truth is I often don't talk about it because I do not know how to explain it myself. I've gone from bad times when I was younger with family drama and getting bullied, to the confident and happy young man that we all see today. It may sound cliche, but courage helped me move forward. I needed to have the courage to explore areas I would never have gone before. I needed to talk to people I would have never talked to before. This growth is not something that we can achieve within a day or week, it will only come once you are willing to move forward in your life. You cannot force it, but when the day comes you will know.

-Dillon Johnson

Family

The first thing I thought about when I hear the words courage and hope, is my family. We have been through a lot of struggles as a family, but we have never given up on each other because we all know that we belong to each other. My mom and I have asthma, but my mom's asthma is way worse than mine. In the beginning of our journey to Canada my mom got an unexpected asthma attack in the airplane and the journey turned into a complete nightmare. We hadn't even arrived to Canada yet and we almost lost hope. I hated the disease so deeply because of this; it lasted for about ten minutes, but it felt like ten hours. Somehow, she got better and we continued our journey with hope for a better future. Then everything started to get better when we arrived safe. The first month in Canada was so boring that we had to sit at home 24 hours a day, missing home and friends, but the longer time we spent here the more we liked it. My mom had a couple more asthma attacks after that, but as usual we were all there for her and thank God she got better. I really hope we don't have to go through that again.

- By Tomas Haile