It's a Cake

You're making a cake, and you can choose all these different options for types of cake you can make. Chocolate cake. Birthday cake. Ice Cream cake. Any kind of cake.

And then there's the option to dump bleach into the batter and give up.

It's not a very good option and it doesn't make much sense

But 

Its

There

And it doesn't go away. 

It never leaves

At every point in your life it stays to be a thing you can do. 

And sometimes. 

Sometimes you grab the bleach, and you hold it over the bowl for a little bit

And you put it down

You put it down

And you focus back on your cake

But you thought about it

And you spent so much time thinking about it that you forgot to make your cake

And now 

everyone around you that you see 

is almost all done making their cake 

and all you've done is almost pour bleach into a bowl.

So now what

You don't have a cake. You don't have anything.

You have nothing.

You are nothing.

So why not pour the bleach?

WHY NOT POUR THE BLEACH

Your screaming at yourself

You’re hating that you're doing it but you're doing it

You’re screaming at yourself constantly.

The mere existence of the option of pouring the bleach

Has made you want to pour that bleach.
But you don't.

You don't know why you don't. You can't answer the question being screamed at you

But

You

Dont.

That's all that matters.

And eventually you start making your cake.
It takes a while but you get there

And you just do it.

You’re doing great

You’re going to make the best cake

And you're getting so far.

As far as you can 

Then you come into a problem

You don't know what kind of cake you're going to make.

You spent so much time thinking about the bleach

 that you just assumed that eventually you would pour that bleach.

So all you have left is too

Pour

The

Bleach.

https://vocal.media/psyche/growing-up-suicidal-and-how-it-has-affected-me-today

-Tyler