Persevering in the Search

Throughout life everyone finds things that they hold dear to them, whether it’s a hobby or a sport like hockey, or the love shared between two people like your mom and dad. It could even be the love for a band or music. No matter what, we all strive to make them a part of our life and dedicate our time in perfecting and finding ways to improve our love for them. Although it can be easy to love things at first, often over time we struggle with our feelings and emotions and don`t know how to communicate them in a positive way. We want to give up on the things we love when times are hard or things don't go our way because it is easier that way. We feel as though if  we just gave in to the anger and frustration we could somehow just move on and forget about it. In actuality this is the wrong approach because when we give up on the things we love we can never truly move forward with our lives because we have nothing to truly look and work towards. We have to look within ourselves to find the courage and hope to persevere and work hard even when we're at our breaking point, and our desire to throw things across the room. We have to sit back and take a breath and realize that if we give up, we will look back and regret what we have not done. We'll wish that we could have found the strength and hope within us to continue and try harder even when we were frustrated and wanted to give up. 

In my own life when I attempt to do the things that I am passionate about and love I give it my best, but there are always times when I’d feel like I wanna rip my hair out and run away.  For example, when I practice on the piano and I just can’t seem to get the notes right I tend to lash out. I have to stop for a minute, breath, and get it together. I always hope for the best and find the courage to continue playing even when every part of me wants to quit. I know if I don’t practice I’ll regret it in the future and feel bad about it. This is one of the many reasons we need to stop for a minute and take our time with what we love in life. Another example would be the relationships that I have built. I am amorous towards my girlfriend, but our relationship was not grown perfectly there were times when I was frustrated and didn’t know how to act and often felt compunction afterwards. There were circumstances that forced me to have to stop and  think how she felt which made me realize how I needed to deal with a certain situation. It took hope and courage that I had to search hard for within myself to break free of my own selfish ways and to evolve into almost a different person so that I could show my love and appreciation. When times were not going so well I had to find hope in the situation and hold onto the feelings that liberated me from the struggles that I faced. I had to pursue the courage inside myself to step up and change the way I looked and thought about the situation so that I could find happiness for us even when there wasn’t much. With all the hard work I put into the things that I love great things are always a result. The same goes with my friends. We all have our opinions and disagreements, but we always find the courage to accommodate and deal with each other in a mature way. 

In conclusion courage and hope are necessities when it comes to working hard for the things that you love. Without it we can’t fully indulge and realize what we have to do to love. The image shows that love, courage and hope all come hand in hand with each other. They work best when you use them together. 

I also chose the song "Till I collapse" by Eminem because he is saying that no matter what he is not going to give up because of what anybody says. He's going to do what he loves and that is busting rhymes.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=E9PonIkfquE

-By Nicholas. B

Loneliness

There are things in my life that I am terrified of. Things that take over my body, and my mind; I can’t control them. Things like darkness, and monsters. Darkness that I can't get rid of. Monsters that tease you with weakness. The darkness that taunts me the most, is being alone. It is undoubtedly my worst fear, yet I face it everyday. I never grew up with many close friends, or even people who liked me very much. I started to become someone that I knew I wasn't because I wanted to be noticed. During that process, a lot of myself came out and I lost a lot of people in my life. Most of the people who have been in my life are not there anymore.

Whenever I find myself alone in a hallway at school, or even in my room where no one can see me, I start to panick on the inside. I don't have many people close to me right now, and I'm terrible at making friends, or even just talking to anyone. Everything about me seems to get around to everybody. I hope I can think of a way to thank the people in my life that I love, and that love me, the best I can; I will try my hardest. This fear of loneliness, has brought me all the struggles I have ever had, but it has also brought me the strength to deal with those struggles. The fact that I am used to being alone doesn't scare me all the time anymore. I hope that it will eventually help me to gain the courage that has been hiding within me.

There is a song that I came across a long time ago. Writing this blog has reminded me of it. I would say it describes me, or at least this situation. It’s called “Throne” and is by Bring Me The Horizon. There are a few verses in the song that really stuck out to me. “So you can throw me to the wolves. Tomorrow I will come back; leader of the whole pack. Beat me, black and blue; every wound will shape me; every scar will build my throne.” When I get thrown into a tough situation, I know it will shape me into a stronger person after I get out of it.

- By Renee C

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow_qI_F2ZJI

Killing It

Do you doubt  yourself? Or do you know anyone that is always doubting themselves? I’m one of them. I want to do a lot of things, and have new, good experiences. Sometimes I wonder why didn’t I do this, or why didn't I do that? Why didn’t I get out there, and show them what I’ve got? Maybe I could actually be proud of myself for doing what I did, but no, I doubted myself all the time like there was no tomorrow.  I told myself “I can’t do it!” I told myself “I will fail!” I told myself that someone else is better than me, or they will all just judge me, since I won't be able to do any of it. But courage, and hope changed all of it, it changed the way my thinking went, and filled my heads full of positive thoughts.

Courage helped me to push myself to be out there, and try new things even though there is a chance of failure because who cares if I fail? Who cares if someone is better than me? Why does it matter? At least I tried, and went for it! I showed what I can do, and I can be proud of myself for trying. It also gives me the courage to get through the fears I may have, and make me tougher to face all the obstacles I have in life and make me have a lot of confidence that everyone needs. Hope is necessary to be positive about everything I do, it gives me the positivity I need to fight the vulnerabilities I might have, and the monsters in my life. I hope for the best, and if it doesn’t go very well, I just give it a try again. Hope gives me motivations in life, and what makes me keep going, and without it I wouldn’t be where I am now. 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LLtP4qPMuDw 

( I chose this song, because I really do think that everyone should listen to it, and learn from it. It made me re-think about doubting myself, and always being hard on myself.)

-By Jennifer Petalio

The Darkest Depths of Life

All of us go through different struggles in life, because those obstacles would lead us to where we should be, and also could lead us to maturity. My monsters in life are those people who criticize my abilities and strengths, they are the ones who give me the courage, and hope that one day I'll be able prove to them that I  am not that person who is weak, and who can't fight for myself. Sometimes, our enemies could lead our paths to success, why? It's because it may give us power, power to work harder, and show people that you are one of a kind. People kept criticizing me for who I am because I want  to be a chef in the future; they're saying that I should get a better job instead of cooking, but does it really matter what you earn? I believe that people should do things that would make them happy. Who knows it might be your way to success, you just have to explore that dream and work hard on it. Maybe people are just testing you if you're really determine to pursue your goals in life, so you just have to be firm on what you want to do in life. I know people would keep pushing me to my limits, but I won't give up until I obtain that I want. When you feel like you're going to give up, always remember those people who want you to fail or else you'll going to regret that you didn't give it your best shot. 

I know who I am, and in the future I'll be called "Chef Kyla" because that's my passion, and that's what my heart wants. I am full of expectations in life; I don't want to be a failure because I don't want to be a disappointment, that's why I am working very hard to be finish my high school and when I get to college, I'll work harder until I become a chef.  No matter what the risks will be, I'll be welcoming them with open arms and accept that there will be ups' and downs' in life. Life is about taking an opportunity to gain self-confidence and to get to know your real identity which forms you, as a person. We should show to people that challenges will not bring us down, it will show our strength when we work harder in life. Sometimes I want to say to people,"I know who I am and please stop forcing me to aim for your standards because I am not here to work hard for your own sake, I am here to work on my life and to become the best chef that I can be." 

Never ever give up on your goals, just because of what people tell you.  Prove to them that you'll be successful person.  I know that one day I'll have my own restaurant and I won't have to keep proving myself to those people who criticize me. Courage to me, is a sense of fearlessness, that no matter what the outcome would be you'll always stay strong as the time passes by. While, the significance of hope is believing that a positive outcome is possible. God is always there to guide us, we just need to trust and have faith in him.

This is my video link:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VakILPdtaIY

 It is a story about a guy who becomes a successful businessman, but the girl dumped him for being poor, she even criticized him for who he is. Despite all of that, the guy worked harder to prove to his ex-girlfriend, that he is not what she thinks of him, he is a kind of person who’s going to make revenge in a good way. He makes the impossible, possible. Like my life, I won’t give up until I become a “success” and one day I’ll be the best chef and people will look up to me. I’ll inspire them by saying to me that, “People would criticize our dreams, but working hard in our goals would make us lead us to successful life." We should never ever give up because challenges will always be there, but if we have faith in what we do in life, it will bring us to prosperity.

-Kyla Rivera

Being Lost

Everyone I know right now seems to have their whole lives figured out, what they want to be, where they want to go, who they want it to be with, while, I’m here completely clueless about everything. I have no idea what I want to be, or what school I want to go to. I don’t want to move away from my family, but I also don’t want to stay here. Everyone I’ve known who stays here after they finish high school, never end up leaving and I don’t want that to be me. My friends often talk about what they want to go to school for and what they want to be and all I can think about is how I do not know what I want to be by now. When family or anyone in general asks me about what I want to do with my life, I get bad anxiety and try to change the subject or just brush it off. I feel dumb not knowing, but I don’t want to start doing something and a couple of years later find out that I don’t even like what I picked. I don’t want to waste my time. I feel lost right now, but what has helped me keep going is hope. Hope that in my last year of high school, or sometime before I finish school, something will inspire me and I’ll figure out what is it I want to do or at least have the slightest clue. What gives me courage to keep going are my parents because no matter what obstacle come in their way, they always have found a solution to overcome it and that gives me courage to keep going.

-H

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D6uNCSVhPmE

Fear

My future is a scary thing. After high school I don’t know what I am going to do. I don’t have a desire to go to post secondary right away. It is scary that I am going to finish high school as a 17 year-old and basically become an adult. From that time on I have to work full time and start making a living for myself. I have to find a career that I can financially and mentally be stable in. Making money isn’t always the most important thing about your job. Being mentally stable is the most important. Why have a job that stresses you out and makes you want to pull your hair out? You shouldn’t see it as a job - it should be your passion. You should love what you do and enjoy going to work. It’s just scary that I’m going to have to find a “job” not something that I enjoy and want to do for the rest of my life.

I am vulnerable in that the “real world” might take me and eat me up. What I mean by that is, I am scared that I might not get to work where I want and that I won’t enjoy my life after. I am also invulnerable in lot of different ways. I don’t show emotion and don’t let a lot of people in my life.  

-By Cory Derksen

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ja7PhPTG1JE

Addiction

The strength of acceptance and the will to keep taking steps forward are two very important things, as well as the courage to overcome your personal beliefs for the benefit of others. Throughout my life I’ve been surrounded by alcohol and drugs used to counteract the overwhelming feeling of grief and sorrow. At first, I only saw it as an unreasonable and selfish act. I didn’t acknowledge the idea of hidden pain and I had a strong feeling of anger and sadness built up because these were the decisions of the people I love and I was left wondering why. Why would they do that to themselves? Why would they risk hurting the people they loved? The thing is, they didn’t realize they were hurting anybody. They sought out a temporary way to forget the hardships they’ve dealt with throughout their lives. Although, I’ve spent quite a bit of time reacting to this in a one-sided manner, I now realize how hard it must be for them to pull out of this difficult time in their lives. They were scared and unfortunately, it’s hard to just change your beliefs so quickly and easily, it takes time and I believe many people can help change and inspire people for the better. If we, as a whole, look after each other then we can prosper. It takes a lot of understanding and patience, but it’s possible. For years I didn’t have these aspects. My family members would continue doing what they did and I stayed back and minded my own business. I secretly hoped they would change their ways while also feeling a sense of anger. It wasn’t right of me to do and it’s a good thing I realized the actions I was and wasn’t taking, otherwise I’d still be in the same mindset.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p8hN7fJMl6g

I chose this song because it makes me realize the importance of the care provided by others and the impact it provides for people through personal and difficult times. This song brings a sense of calm and inspiration for me and hopefully, for others as well. Despite the length and the shortage of lyrics, I think a sentence can go a long way in a sense of feeling inspired to help the people around you.

R.L.H.

My Life

Some say your future is like an open door, and you never know what’s behind, but you’ll just have to find out. I think that since last year my future has been even brighter than it has ever been before. Ever since I got motivation to work, life has treated me very well. I started working at GT Auto care ltd. and also joined the R.A.P at Catholic Central High, and I would like to be a mechanic or automotive technician. I love cars very much and have been working on them for a while. Hopefully after high school I will go to college for a mechanic and get my Ticket. After I get my ticket my brother and I will run our father's shop together. I hope that all of this becomes a reality, but also at the same time the future could change in a second, so I guess I'll just have to see what's coming my way.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mihX0QmjDNA

-By Lowen Rokosh

El Salvador, San Salvador

I think that courage in people is something good because it keep us motivated in life. Without hope and courage when facing every difficulty we go through we would give up.  Not giving up it is good because  we earn more courage and by having courage we are not scared of attempting new things that we haven’t done before.  Even though they are new to us  we learn from the new things we try.

In my personal experience hope has been a really important thing in my life mostly because I was born in a country that has a really low economic stability, a country that is really dangerous to live in.  As the country's economy was getting lower the country got more dangerous  because people who needed money started robbing the people who were working. The gangs got bigger these gangs started to threaten the people to death if the people didn’t do what they told them to do.The gangsters also  recruit young people to join their gang if they didn’t join them they would threaten them to kill their family. My parents wanted to move because it was dangerous and my parents hope for a better life for me and also my brothers. They use to say that it was just a matter of time for the gangsters to come to make us join them. I always had hope that one day I would move from all the danger and that I would have the courage to leave my loves ones.

I haven’t forget where I come from, All of my good memories were left in the country I was born in. It can be dangerous, but it is also a beautiful country. I remember I use to visit the beautiful places of my country for example, the beach,the lakes and the rivers were the best places I have ever been. There are so many things that make my country different than others. I have many plans for the future and one of the plans is to go back; I hope that I will have the courage to help my country to be a better place.

-By Kilmar Delgado

Broken Wings

When your background is a combination of physical, mental, and sexual abused, and you have been so tarnished and used you start to feel as if you shouldn’t have wings and even that you don’t deserve your wings. You start to feel that you born with these demented, torn wings that just don’t want to work. To live a life of depression, sadness, and gilt so bad that you start cutting when you're in grade 7 and don’t stop till grad 9, you start to feel you are the only one with fucked up wings because no one notices. To feel as if no one wants you in their life, to feel as if your useless. This was my life.  Grade 10 came and I stopped going to school for most of the year and didn’t talk to anyone; I had no friends to talk to. For what ever reason I passed that year when I should have failed. Why did I pass? These are a few of the reasons I couldn’t see a future, a way out, or a new beginning for my life. My wings were grabbed and torn part piece by piece until nothing was left of then. My wings were now bent, twisted, ripped, scarred, and drenched in a thick black tar that wouldn't come off my one beautiful feathers that were easy to use and take for granted. My wings so drenched in the rusty truth of the past.

Then it changed.  My parents noticed I was depressed,  I felt relieved, my wings started to straighten. I stopped cutting and the rips in my poor drooping wings started to heal.  I got up the courage to tell my parents about the sexual and mental abuse and how it had been hurting me for so long. My wings started to untwist. I got help with the physical that had started so long ago that just wouldn’t go away by itself. My wings started shedding to get the black thick tar off. I finally realized I was smart, and funny in my own little way. I started feeling happy again and started going back to school my wings were know big and white not demented anymore but prideful. I felt as if my wings were bigger than everyone else’s. I use to think that I wouldn’t go anywhere in life that I didn’t deserve to go far in life, but now I know what I want, and I know where I’m going in life. When I'm out of school I’m going to get my health care aid and slowly work up from there. After I get my health care aid I’ll go traveling the world then I’m going to get my LPN and upgrade from there to become a nurse. After I get my nurses I’m going to work up to lab tech and then hopefully I’ll even get up to getting my doctorate. My life has been made up of steps.  From the day I was born it has been taking one step at a time and it is crucial for me to keep my wings and stop being scared to fly to the top of my life, to my full potential. My future is my safety net, it’s the only thing holding me to life. My goals are simple and beautiful. I am scared for what comes next, and scared to find out what other trials are going to happen to make me fall over and over again.  The only difference is that I have my wings and I’m not going to lose my wings ever gain.  

https://www.google.ca/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&url=http://m.youtube.com/watch%3Fv%3DKtNYA4pAGjI&ved=0ahUKEwiWzf3D86jNAhUIElIKHapNDO4QyCkIIDAA&usg=AFQjCNEBFA09J_dZatVm-fTRLDFy2OAdAA&sig2=hsc9Nb1o2VHQSYffJo2mIw

-By Kerinda Paxman

Changes

Sometimes in life, people struggle with figuring out what they want to do in their life, they struggle to figure out their purpose on this earth. All you should know is that every single person has a reason to be alive, and being born is the hardest part, you won the race, now it’s all up to you.

A couple of years ago, around the age of 14-16, I was at the lowest point in my life. To sum it up, I was hanging out with the wrong crowd, getting into trouble, treating my body terribly, always glued to the gaming stations or the television, and running around aimlessly with no goals for myself. During this time, I was lost in the mess of my life. I had no passion for anything. I would always use the excuse of not having a father figure as a way out.

During the summer months in between grade 10 & 11, I made one of the smartest decisions of my life. I smartened up and thought about where I would end up in a few years if I continued to do the things I was doing. By the time my grade 11 year began, I took it upon myself to start talking to a new group of people who I went to school with already, so they already knew me quite well. They knew about the things I used to do, but I suppose they knew that I wanted to change my life around for the better, and I am ever so grateful for that and for them.

Around this time, I began growing taller, but not any bigger. I reached about 5’8 after having a growth spurt. This caused me to become much skinnier, I was still only about 115lbs. I continued to treat my body poorly by eating foods that interfered with my Celiac Disease. I wouldn’t gain an ounce of weight from the food I ate as a result of my disease, but thankfully for my conscience stepping up, I realized that I couldn’t continue to do this to my body, and I started eating right. Around the end of grade 11, I began working out, and this was the best decision of my life. My mom ended up paying for a trainer to make me a workout plan, and a nutrition plan to gain weight. I studied different ways of working out, studied how to count macros, different muscles and how they work, etc. I basically made myself familiar with everything I would be doing. It took a lot of courage for me to go into the gym and workout with people who were much bigger than me because I always thought people would judge me, I was wrong.

What I learned from that is if I get knocked down 9 times, I will get back up 10 times. And if you get knocked down you must land on your back, because if you can look up, you can get up. I grew a passion for the gym after I became familiar with everything. I love going into the gym with a focus like no other. Instead of spending my money on things that harm my body, I now spend it on clean supplements to help my body grow, things like whey protein, creatine, BCAA’s, etc. The gym is my second home. It is where I can focus on myself and focus on becoming a better person. By this time, I have forgotten about my old self, and I now just worry about my new self. I love the feeling after a good workout, knowing that nothing but good things will come from it, and knowing that I’m another step ahead in chasing my dreams.

https://youtu.be/m-N18WuhCRQ

I chose this video to represent changing your lifestyle. I watch/listen to these videos daily because they keep me motivated.

-By Nathan Mihaichuk

Future

The future is really quite a scary thing. I'm 18, and I have a girl that I love very much.just finishing high school, but I don’t know if I’m headed to college or university. I just don’t know where I’m headed after high school. I could end up being a doctor, or a surgeon working to save the lives of my patients. I could be an astronaut or a hockey player playing in the NHL. I could be a construction worker helping build really big buildings, or work as a cook making 5 star meals. Perhaps I could make it as a professional skateboarder skating with people like Moose, Andrew Reynolds or Paul Rodriguez.  I could be anything in the whole world, yet I have no idea what I really want to be. I know though that the future holds great presence for me when I figure out what I really want to be and what passions I have. The future will have some hard at times, and sometimes I may get confused and not know what I should do, but I know when I am ready that it will hit me, like getting punched in the face. I am afraid of what may happen in my future,  but I can’t wait to see what’s waiting for me. I will work as hard as I can, complete goals that I’ve set for myself and finally say that I made it. That I know as I keep moving forwards in my life; I won’t worry about my past but only what is waiting ahead of me.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXODay6wckA
Here is link to a video of Moose skate boarding.

-By Ty Peake