Breaking Free

Anxiety - seven-letter word that struck me out of nowhere. When my anxiety became a “thing”, it took me off guard. It spiraled into my day to day life. An anxiety attack feels like your mind is fighting against you. It says “you can’t do this”. “why do you think you can do this?” your body reacts, your heart is racing, your lungs ache, fighting to breathe as your breath shallows. Unknown faces paralyze me, I hate crowds, concerts, and movie theaters . I used to love these but now, it’s out of the question. I hate buses and planes because there is no easy way you can escape. I think too much. I think ahead, behind, sideways. If it exists, I think about it. It’s like living in a world with fog all the time- a world without color or laughter. It makes me feel like I am tiny seed stuck at the bottom of a pot. The more I try to grow and break free, the more dirt and soil falls on me, suffocating me and pushing me down. I feel heavy, weak and tired all the time. When I was admitted to the hospital, I felt sadness, anger and hate but also love and happiness. Distorted and fleeting as these positive emotions were, they were enough to convince me recovery was possible.  From my experience, I had to work hard for what I wanted because it won’t come without a fight. You must be strong and courageous and know you can put your mind to anything you want to.  

-By Kourtney Sazaski

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QtuOk0IFjiY

This is a short video entitled "Things About Anxiety Nobody Talks About". It is a very informative video outlining the various difficulties people with severe anxiety face.