Exit

THUMP. THUMP. THUMP. The sound of a black smoke, of terror, weakness, and sorrow as it pounds on my bedroom door. It was so sudden and I did not see it coming. As I sit leaning my back against the hardwood floor I feel the breeze of smoke wrapping my body from my head going down to my feet. Its darkness clouded my ability to see my worth as a human being. I ask myself, should I fight it off? Slowly, my desire to continue this journey of life was a distant blur and I was caged.

And then I blinked

It is exactly 3 in the morning and my eyes couldn’t be any wider than the owl’s. I felt a sudden urge to get up and hit my keyboard as my brain spits out what I want to write. Why am I feeling this way? The pressure is getting to me and if I could merely scream to the world that I am just a young girl who wants to explore more about myself, maybe it would stop. Maybe the smoke would stop to creep on my safe place. I continue to ignore it, somehow I still find a way to believe in me, at the very least I still have hope for me because I know in my heart and soul that I have yet to find out my true purpose for being in this world. My family immediately came into my mind, I gain my strength from them. Because of my family, I have the courage to dismiss my imperfections and embrace myself for who I am. I realized pressure is normal for someone who is going through higher levels of maturing, it is just the matter of how one would handle it. I felt at ease with my newfound wisdom and I find myself yawning. For a moment the black smoke of terror, weakness, and sorrow faded. It seems to be that they have already exited.

-S.G

Andra Day - "Rise Up"

https://youtu.be/lwgr_IMeEgA