Every living human has courage and hope that helps them overcome challenges in life. Hope gives a person confidence that everything will work out in the end and next time they are going through a rough patch in life they will have the courage to overcome their challenge.

I have had a hard time growing up, for me life was pretty difficult, but I feel that I have gone through so much in life that it has made me a stronger person today. I have struggled both mentally and emotionally in my life with multiple things. When I was younger I used to get bullied a lot for multiple reasons like my culture, my appearance, and my weight. No matter what it was I was always getting bullied for it and I felt like no one liked me; I always felt like I was out of place. I have struggled with self-confidence because I was always told that I wasn’t pretty enough or skinny enough.

When I got to junior high the bullying still occurred.  On top of all that I was struggling with family problems that I’d rather not speak about. I lost both of my grandparents when I was younger which was really hard for me because my grandparents were like my second parents; I was very close to them and I think of them often. It wasn’t until I started high school when the bullying stopped, but by then I was completely damaged.  I was depressed. I was still going through some family problems and struggling with myself mentally.  I felt like I had no one and I didn’t have many friends. I was in a very dark place in my mind and I spent most of my time in my room.

I have had many problems like voices in my head telling me that I’m not good enough.  I used to have suicidal thoughts, I used to self-harm, and I used to get panic attacks and that were enough to make me want to give up, but I didn’t. I went through many phases trying to fit in or trying to be different and I tried so hard to make myself better mentally.

I started to get more into music that made me feel alive; it made me feel like I was finally at peace and I could escape from my problems. I was in a world of my own. My parents got me an electric guitar and at first I didn’t play it because I didn’t know how to, but I taught myself and started to play more on it and I got better.  Now I play almost every day because it is the only thing that makes me feel okay. It wasn’t until the ending of grade 10 when I found some amazing friends and I felt like people actually liked me. I was slowly getting better and now I am in a better state of mind.  I just kept hoping everything will go away and in the end things will be better and they are.  I hope to never fall back into that dark place again.

-Shanelle Healy