Music Affects Your Brain

“Music affects your brain, and you don’t have to be weak minded for it to do so.” In thinking of what I would write about on hope and courage in my life I realized that what keeps me going is music. I could listen to music literally twenty four seven if it wasn’t considered rude to have headphones in while I’m in class and just being around people in general. Music gives me the isolation I look for when I’m stressed and want to black out. Music gives me a world in my head full of imagination and dreams. There was a day in my life that I was told really sad information and the first thing I did was flop on my bed, plug in my headphones and throw on “the only one” by The Black Keys and it calmed me down and by listening to the lyrics I could connect to the message. There are so many little parts in a song that I just never forget and I try living by the lyrics that inspire me. Like in the song mentioned above, he says “this is just a phase” and for some reason when I heard that I just knew that the sad moment I was currently living in would eventually blow over and just be another phase. Three years have passed and that phase has legitimately blown over. My parents have buried the hatchet and have decided that they would work out there marriage considering how well it’s been going so far. I can’t recall if I have ever told them that I forgive them for putting me through such a dirt time, but I feel like I should because they are my parents and they love me and like the stress that they’ve had to go through before I was even around is crazy, but it’s kind of funny because I think I’m starting to see how I’m my father’s son and my mother’s son. Just the other day the house was dead silent, mum was cooking up some stew so the house sure smelled good but yet not a sound. Until I heard the most beautiful murmur from upstairs “let’s get together and feel alright” my mother and I have been able to connect when we listen to Bob Marley ever since the first day I heard the Rastafarian when I was getting ready for grade two or three. And my father and I can relate to the same music even better. That song by The Black Keys “the only one” my dad had told me was his favourite song on the album when he bought it and without hesitation I could answer that it was mine as well for it gave me the hope I needed.

 By Xavier Quon

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9ELYMhJZlI

No Courage

Through my day from when I wake up to when I go to sleep, I avoid mirrors. Every time I see myself I don’t like what I see. Throughout my life I’ve had to have the courage to get up in the morning and go to school, everyday someone would make fun of the way I look, how I talked, got excluded from groups because of the way I would act. Every day I had the courage to get up while my head would ask what would I be called today who is going to pick on me today… I shouldn’t go to school, I’m too sick. I still went every day no matter how much I didn’t want too.  Now today I can’t look at myself the same way that I did when I was 7; I see myself the way everyone did when I got into junior high, to fat, to stupid, weird, reject, ugly, disappointment, worthless, and much more… I don’t see myself any different. I have people in my life who support me and love me for who I am, and say that I’m none of those things, but when you’ve been told something for a long time it’s hard to believe the opposite. I don’t accept who I am, I hate who I am.  I’ve been trying to gain the courage to learn to love myself, but I just can’t. Now just because the world is around me I still feel alone; I feel like there is no one who understands what it feels like to go through the day upset and mad at myself for who I am.  I listen to a song called just like nothing by a guy named Prozak. There is a lyric that keeps replaying itself in my head…

“Even though the world's around me

I feel lonely like I'm the only one

Even though the world has found me

It can drown me

It feels just like nothing”

I don’t have the courage to take my hoodie off anymore, not because I think I'm fat, it’s because of my arm. If anyone could see my arm they would judge me even more than they already do… so I guess what I'm saying is that I don’t have courage anymore. Im scared every day that I'm going to be put down for what I do or how I look or how I talk. That’s why I have anxiety I don’t want to go out in public because I'm worried about them judging me for who I am…

  By Gabriel Sanderson-Price

I feel like these lyrics from the song (mentioned earlier), explains a lot of what I feel every day.

"Just Like Nothing"

[Hook: Tyler Lyon]

Even though the world's around me

I feel lonely

Like I'm the only one

Even though the world has found me

It can drown me

It feels just like nothing

[Hook: Tyler Lyon]

[Verse 1: Prozak]

Maybe there's a reason I feel I'm the only one

I walk amongst 7 billion understood by none

A lost soul walking down the cross-roads

Searching for some sanctuary, some peace of mind just to grab hold

Man overboard in the darkest sea of reality

Desperately trying to keep himself from sinking and he's frantically panicking and there’s no sign of land

Can he be the man that can handle this damage and get back up on his feet again

Cause somewhere deep inside his abdomen he feels the burn and purpose to defeat these inner demons that seem to submerge him

That always seem to surface and cause a diversion,

that sures him to crash and burn on his course to destiny's purpose

[Hook: Tyler Lyon]

[Verse 2: Prozak]

Maybe it's too late now I see the sky is faded

No turning back no second chance and thats an understatement

My only friend is my reflection and he's dissipatin'

Into these endless days of disarray I'm contemplatin'

Where did I go wrong, try to hold on [?] be strong

Hard to feel that home when theres no place for me to belong

I guess it's back to packin down these back roads

With a black hole inside my chest that used to hold a soul

[Bridge: Prozak]

Maybe when it's all done I can finally realize

Why I felt alone through this journey of my life

And everything will finally make sense to me one day

But until then I wish I could make this go away

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L1rQcO7_dTw

I started working in the trades last year when I was 15. I started out as a welder; I had to build up my courage to take this job. There are many reasons why working in the trades takes courage and hope from someone my age, some of the reasons are: safety, being constantly focused, watching out for others, and just always hoping I’m not going to mess up on the job. I get so nervous when they tell me to do something for the first time because I really don’t want to look bad in front of all the people I work with. I feel a lot of pressure cause if I do make a mistake it costs a lot of time and money for the company I work for. I have built up my courage since then and now I am a little more confident in my work. I am also becoming more efficient and have moved on to electrician which I think takes more patience and being precise in my work and getting the job done the first time. Safety is a huge issue in working in a lot of the trades, but especially where I work. I am working around about one hundred people in one huge shop, so not only do I have to look out for my safety but I have to look out for everyone else’s safety around me. It takes courage to do my job to make sure I am doing it right the first time and as safe as possible for me and the people around me.

 By Eric Osejo

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JxhEg5wPnBw

Underground Thoughts

Music is the only thing in my life that I can literally do forever, I can go an entire day without turning my music off because I have such a wide variety of songs in my life to choose from, literally thousands. My main love for music is for an independent rap label called Strange Music. Discovered my number one independent rapper on the planet “Tech N9ne” Their label alone has released over fifty albums since the year 2000 when it was created, now consists of 12 artists all together (14 in history).  And every single album and song tells an amazing story, and on top of the story it actually sounds so; good. Strange music literally changes my life every day; I am constantly up to date with every song, album, video, feature etc.  It’s my passion. It’s my biggest dream to one day wear one of the official strange music chains and become one of the strangers myself. They are truly a family and it’s the one thing I could see myself being happy doing for the rest of my life. You will see the logo and merchandise from their website almost anywhere I go because I am a huge supporter and I even communicate with these celebrities through the internet and they seriously respect their fans. They treat you like family just because you support them.  I am huge into the underground rap community. The fact is the best music comes from those who really struggle to make music underground. The music everyone listens to now of days is labeled “mainstream” or all the crap you hear on the radio.

When I say I love rap I don’t mean the thuggish banger gangster rap all the time, for the most part I really study deep into each and every lyric the artist has to say. Sometimes it takes fifty or more times to catch one clever metaphor or comparison that they slipped in the verse. The art of rap is a lot bigger than most think one rap artist I love is a kid that goes by “grieves” he isn’t much older than me and he has inspired me to write music a lot, mainly because he only speaks about his life and true things that are going on.  It takes true skill to be able to rhyme one word for an entire verse, but it’s possible and when you get it done you feel like a god. When you seriously sit down and write some of the cleverest text you have ever read yourself, that’s when you really feel like you have a chance.

I listen to all kinds of rap that actually has a point, if the artist only raps about money and girls and cars I am not interested at all, I find myself sucked into rap that has true meaning behind it. Also faster rap is kind of my thing, to rap in the first place is difficult, but to add sonic speed to your lyrics really takes natural skill, it’s not easy to just learn. I have been able to rap pretty quickly from the beginning, but every day I am practicing more and more until I am satisfied, which will never happen. To listen to the true art of rap, you need to listen to strange music and “Teambackpack.net” I discovered them about four or five years ago and I still have not seen everything they have to offer. Teambckpack.net is a cypher group that lets local rappers have their own shot at the mic, 90% of the time the stuff that gets played is 100 times better than this mainstream music everyone else listens to, if you truly appreciate the art of course. If you’re just in it for the beat and the chorus, you have no place in the rap community. I could ramble on about the topic for legitimately pages upon pages but the point I’m trying to make is, without music. Music is my only way of maintaining hope and courage. Without it I really don’t know what I would do.

I feel like these are songs you might actually enjoy and be able to get through, so if you can please take the time to really listen to these songs.

By Jesse Barnett

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKs5OsT4dIY  

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jlZDiztyxMI                                  http://teambackpack.net/

Courage & Hope

I feel like music gives me courage and hope like if I’m having a bad day and I listen to some rap music I start to feel better because most of what they talk about applies to me the life style and everything just the feeling of knowing your not the only one. Music helps push me forward like Eminem, I have been listening to him for as long as I can remember you can tell that he’s not doing it simply for the money he’s doing it to get a message across to reach out to all of the burnouts and skids to show the less fortunate that they can achieve greatness. He has inspired me to do it myself and write my own lyrics, but to write them about something that has meaning, something that is from the soul. When I write about the struggles I have it makes me feel better almost like I’m expelling the bad thoughts and negative energy and putting it all on paper. Without rap in my life I don’t know where I would be.  I have always listened to rap since I was about five years old it’s always been who I am.  My style has always been baggy clothing and flat brim hats.  I was always the odd one out nobody liked me nobody wanted to be near me but I wasn’t changing for anyone they don’t know me or what I’ve been through; I’m glad I stuck with staying who I am because now I have friends that like me for me they don’t try to change me.  I feel like it took the most courage to say if you don’t like me f*** you because I don’t care and that’s what I live by everyday.

 By Cory Nobes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hO2wA0Te0wM

When we think of courage the first thing that comes to mind is fire fighters and lion tamers but we forget the little guy and how courageous he can really be. Courage doesn’t have to be shown by some great feat; it could be as simple as waking up in the morning, putting a smile on your face and going out into the harsh world that surrounds us. Forget about taming lions, what about going out and taming our own emotions? Courage is taking on a seemingly impossible task, not knowing what the outcome will be. Like running into a burning building. I know firsthand what that can feel like. Sometimes even the thought of having to be around people can send me into a state of utter anxiety and confusion. Sometimes it can make me feel like my heart is about to stop, like there’s no point and that it would be easier to just give up, but I push through. I run into that burning building because I can’t stay locked up forever. We are only prisoners to our own mind and the ability to smile and push through is hard to grasp. Courage is looking straight at a challenge that life throws at you and you making it yours. When I was watching a show there was a quote that stood out to me "no matter what you’re feeling on the inside, always remember to put on a good face" to me, that’s courage.

By Brianna Thompson

Forgiving Does Not Mean Forgetting

There are 10 countries I know for a fact I am not going to visit in my lifetime, these countries have one thing in common they all don’t like black people, why I myself don’t know, but I know lots of black people have died in these countries. I don’t understand how the world could express hate about a simple thing such as a skin color, but apparently it can. I am not ashamed of my skin color or the way I represent it, but I also don’t love it; I would prefer to blend in with the crowd then stand out in this circumstance. People will out of nowhere stare at me and whisper to their friend’s I don’t understand what there is to be whispering about, but they do. Black people in a many ways are misrepresented we are not violent or aggressive. People look at some back people and think the whole race acts the same, but that’s not true just because one of us is loud, violent and aggressive does not mean the whole race is the same.

I have always hoped that maybe people could get past my complexion and see me for the human that I am, but I lost that sense of hope on Sunday, October 19^th I went to work as usual and like always as I got to work my manager asked me to take the till I servered customers for a while, made coffees and handed people their food like I always have. One of the jobs of the till person is to make sure the lobby is clean and so I had to go check on the lobby every half an hour; when I first started working at McDonalds I hated checking the lobby because it meant I had to interact with the customers and some customers can be rude, but if they were ever rude it was never personal; however, today it was. Today as a man in his forties walked in and I served him. He was different from any of the rude customers I have come into contact with. He was nice to me around the mangers said thank you and when I handed him his coffee he walked away.  Again came the half hour and I had to go check on the lobby I grabbed my broom and stared sweeping the floor. As I swept the floor the old man said out of nowhere, ‘Excuse me may I ask you a question?’’ Before I could answer he said ‘’Why did you stay in the sun too long?’’ I right way caught on to what he was saying and started getting mad, but he then pressed on to say,‘’ Don’t get mad I bleached’’ and he laughed about his’’ joke’’.  At that moment I did not know what to do; I wanted to hit him in the head with the broom I was holding, but I didn’t.  I couldn’t move. I wanted to cry, but what good would that  do?  I stood there staring at him. The manager came and pushed me on my arm and I rose from my long stare. He asked what was wrong because I was shaking. I told him what had happened and he asked the customer to leave, but I was still angry; I was mad, but this time not at the man, but myself. I had manged to have someone insult me right there in my face without saying a world back in return.

I have never felt personally attacked in my life for something t I couldn’t help it. I didn’t have courage to stick up for myself; all I wanted to do was cry because if you think about it what had I done to deserve such an insult from someone I didn’t know? I hope one day my skin complexion won’t matter at all and that one day I can visit all those 10 countries without worrying about what might happen to me. I hope one day the only reason people whisper around me is about who I am as a human rather than about my complexion. I hope the next time someone says something about my complexion that I have the courage to stand up for myself.  

By Edwin Jada

http://theconcourse.deadspin.com/america-is-not-for-black-people-1620169913

 

Football

My favorite sport that I love to play is football, because it is a physical sport, fast, strong, and hard hitting. Football isn’t just an individual sport, it is a team sport. Teammates play for each other, and stick up for each other on the field. Football can be played at all ages; it starts from peewee, bantam, high school, college, and the pros. I started playing football in grade nine with the Cardston Cougars bantam team; I had a good year there but didn’t really get to play, the team and I made it to the championship game, but lost to Raymond Comets by a score of 35-14. At the end of the season I went on an exercising routine to get a little bit faster, and stronger, but just as my grade ten season was going to start I torn my hamstring and I was injured for the rest of the season. I was devastated because I was excited to play and I felt stronger and faster than my grade nine year, but because of my injury I had to quit the team the team at the end of the season. In grade eleven I came to Catholic Central High School to play football, it felt weird playing with a new team because I only knew two players on the team and the rest I didn’t, but throughout the season I made friends. I had a good grade eleven season, I played for the jv team, even though we lost all of our games I can say we gave every game 110% effort,  the team and I won zone banner against Medicine Hat, but lost in the semi-finals in the provincials. My senior football year is here and it is playoffs and the team and I are ready for a playoff run to the provincial finals.    

By Stephen Wadsworth

 

Switching Schools, Switching Lives

Having courage and hope is to overcome hardships in life that challenge us to the point of desperation. When we get faced with hardships we get scared, nervous and petrified. It is hard to deal with these obstacles in life. That’s where courage and hope come in.  Being Native American, we get faced with so many obstacles in life, from being picked last in group activities to racial slurs. I was faced with all of these.

When I was in grade 5 my whole life changed. I switched schools from my reserve to a Catholic School in Lethbridge. This was the hardest obstacle I had to face. I felt so comfortable and safe going to school on my reserve because I was surrounded by kids like me who I knew and we had the same skin colour, but all that changed. I still remember the first day of class at my new school it was scary and nervous being in a room filled with kids who have a different skin colour than me. I was alone, nervous and petrified. It was gut wrenching waking up 5 o’clock in the morning and getting on the bus at 6, then getting to school at 8 when school started.  Everything was too much for me. I couldn’t handle it, until I realized that this was life. I was going to have to go through this someday. All I had was hope. With that I built the courage to make friends. Every day got easier, the more hope and courage the more motivation I had to complete the rest of my education off my reserve. I promised myself that I would finish high school off my reserve and I am in my senior year. I still have that hope and courage to finish school and keep to my promise. I will finish strong and I will continue to use that motivation that I have to exceed my expectations and achieve my goals.

By Traven Red Crow

 

I was about 6 years old when my parents first split up. My mom packed up everything that could fit inside her 2002 Impala ( I don’t know why I still remember that) besides three seats for her, my brother, and I. She told us that she was leaving my father, and asked us if we wanted to come with her. Now that I look back on it, it was all pretty sudden and upfront. She had tears in her eyes, and me and my brother weren’t going to let our mom leave all alone like that, so we hopped in the car with her and drove four days across the country to start a new life in Florida. This isn’t a story about my courage, it’s a story about hers. My father used to be a terrible person. He constantly drank, and was often physically and mentally abusive to my mother. For many years my mom endured this mistreatment for her sons. This wasn’t just her family, it was her life, it was all she knew. But one day, something must have changed. He must pushed her a little too far, and that was the straw that broke the camel’s back as they say. She had the courage to go out on her own and start a new and better life for her sons, and herself. I respect her immensely for that decision. Admittedly that threw a wrench in my life and I had to start over on a lot of things, but I don’t blame her for what she did at all, I commend her. Now just like then she’s immensely independent, and because of her strong will she’s become very successful with her own business.   

By Axel Froese

http://game.orangebowl.org/orange-bowl-history/honors/courage-award/

One Last Play

There are points in everyone’s lives where we must find the courage to push through every obstacle in front of us. In my case those obstacles might actually be people. To truly find courage in a time when you are weak and faced with adversity is to truly know you have exceeded all limits and have fought a battle worthy of a win.

            I’ve grown up with many sports in my life. I’ve played baseball, hockey, basketball, soccer, and a few more, but one sport that has truly stood out in my life is football. I absolutely love football; it’s one of those sports someone can get fully immersed in and never want to turn back. People often ask me why I would play a sport with so much violence and pain; I seem to ask myself the same question. Then I realize that every time I step onto that field, be it for practice or to play in front of a crowed, that I love the feeling of running the ball as fast as a possibly can pushing the limits of my own body. I love lowering my head to knock someone down for that one extra yard. Where might courage fit into this you might ask? Well there are many times I’ve wanted to give up, I’ve wanted to quit, because of physical pain and also because I thought I couldn’t keep going. But courage is to fight all of that, to keep moving, to take a deep breath and get ready for the next play, or the next drill. I have played this sport for almost 7 years now and it has caused more pain and injury than anything else in my life, but every day I find the courage to walk onto that field and play my heart out for every single one of my brothers. Courage is knowing you are physically exhausted but you keep playing like it’s your last.

By Mike Toth

“No matter the circumstances that you may be going through, just push through it.” – Ray Lewis

Effort Is All You Need In Order To Succeed

As a child I grew up like most -lazy - not wanting to complete the tasks I had laid upon myself or the ones that were put upon me. My only plan was to sit around with my friends and let life push me down its great slide of adventures. There came a point in my life where I wasn’t living up to my full potential, my grades were slipping and surprisingly I didn’t care. This was all before I came into contact with football, the contact sport that drastically changed my life. In order to be successful you must be willing to put in effort, after that anything is possible.

                Although no one ever wants to admit they were caught slipping up, I was. This was until I signed myself up for Cougars football.  Earlier around grade five I had tried football, but with little success, it wasn’t something I was interested in at the time because it required effort and a better attitude. Neither of which I was willingly going to hand over to someone who thought they could boss me around all because their name was “Coach”. In grade seven I began working out and making a daily routine. It gave me a sense of empowerment that previously I was unaware of. After a year of working out I began questioning why I put effort in at the gym I could not use. I didn’t need strength for anything I was doing at the time and nor was I in need of big muscles. This was all until football, it gave me a reason to workout more ruthlessly and more frequently. Not long after I  developed into a better player than previously. Now you may ask if football wasn’t for you before what was it that made it change?  Not one thing is responsible for my new found love of football, but there was a key contributor - Ray Lewis; this is a man who single handedly came out of a torn house hold and made millions playing the sport he loves. Ray Lewis became a push of motivation to become better; he credited his success to his effort. His effort was a key contributor in why he became who he is today. A legend among football players.

                Soon after finding a new found interest for football my grades began to rise and my love for football became not just a love, but a passion. I had adopted Ray Lewis’ thought that effort would get me places I wanted to be. Not only is this true, but something I believe every person should wake up in the morning thinking. No longer did I feel lazy or unmotivated, but persistent and relentless. Now I'm nearing the end of my football career as I will be graduating this year, but I’m not going back to the way I was before my passion for sports flourished. Now I have a new push, a career which will motivate me every day to become better and put effort into everything I do. That career is a police officer where there is no limit to how much effort I can put into it. And that effort goes forth to help not only myself ,but help other people realize that effort is all you need in order to succeed.

By Thomas Slaney

I can’t quite explain how Ray Lewis motivated me to do better but here a couple links in order to help clarify.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QO-XM4JMeAI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y2A6soA4JEs

 

Hope When It Feels Gone

I haven’t experienced anything close to what some of my fellow classmates, but I have gone through the most painful experience of my life. It was just near the end of school when I broke my collar bone. I have broken both of my arms, but I have never been in as much pain as I was when I broke my collar bone. It broke when I was playing lacrosse. The league I was playing in was with seventeen to twenty one year olds, I was sixteen at the time. We were down in the game and I don’t like to lose, so I was trying anything to get some shots on net. The score was 3-1 for the opposing time in the second period. With less than five minutes left in the period I was trying to go to the net; it was me against one other defender. I tried to go to the middle until another guy sandwich me against the defender I was trying to go around.  My bone snapped like a twig. The x-ray basically showed my bone at a ninety degree angle.

Once I felt that I ran to the bench, my trainer came over to me and asked how I was doing I replied with "a little sore but okay". I never knew that my collar bone was broken at the time. He moved my equipment over to see my shoulder and you could see my bone almost poking through my skin. He right away said that we are going to the hospital.  I was a little confused because I thought I just knocked the wind out of me, but I was really wrong. On the ride there I lost all the adrenaline, the pain really kicked in at that time. I could feel every bump in the road. The part that was the scariest was not being able to move my upper body. The collar bone is like the center part of your body.

My team never gave up hope in the game when I left for the hospital. With twenty minutes left in the game my team came back to win the game 4-3. We beat the best team in the league. I might have lost hope in the game, but my team never did.

By Blake Snedden

I believe the courage is being able to open up to someone without the fear of being judged, and that’s exactly what I am about to do right now. At 2 months old I was put into foster care, and for me to open up and be able to tell a person is a big deal for me. It happens to be big deal to me because it opens up the endless variety of stereotypical questions, for example “your parents didn’t want you?” “So you weren’t wanted?” “You don’t have a real family? Or you don’t have parents?” Wrong. The reason it takes courage for me to open about my past is because by telling people about it I feel like I am handing over the power for them to hurt me by using it against me and making me feel like less of a person because my biological parents weren’t able to take care of me like everyone else.

I think that the hardest part about being in foster care is having to deal with my biological parents. It takes courage to love my biological parents for who they are because I know that I will never have the power to change them no matter how hard I try. The strength that it takes to come to terms with the fact that my biological parents will never be able to be there and parent me the way I would’ve liked them to is just something that I am always going to have to deal with, and I am okay with that. All I can hope is that one day I will be able to develop a relationship with them in a way that I have never been able to before.

I definitely feel that hope and courage can be displayed through any type of situation and I think that I show it through the ability to realize that being in foster care doesn’t make me any different from anyone else. I have come to terms with the fact that just because my biological parents aren’t able to look out for me the way I would like doesn’t mean that they don’t love me. I show hope by thinking one day I could possibly develop a relationship with my parents.

Being a foster child I’ve always kind of felt out of place, like I didn’t belong, and it’s hard not to feel that way sometimes. I find it hard not to feel that way because in most cases the foster home you get put into already have kids of their own, and when you are able to see how two people can love their own kids it kind of makes me wonder if my parents will ever be able to show me the love, guidance, and support that other people show their kids. As for my foster family  I couldn’t of asked for a bigger blessing in my life.  It’s incredible feeling to know that two people can take you in a love you as their own. I have come to realize that it’s not where you come from, it’s where you belong. Being a foster child has shaped me into the person that I am today. It has taught me that you can’t change who you are or where you came from, you just have to accept it, and I’ve also learned that you have to accept others for who they are.

-By Chelsea Heavy Runner

He Didn't Take Away My Future, He Gave Me a New One

I was fifteen years old the day that I found out I was pregnant. To say that I was in a dark place at that point in my life would be an understatement. I was selfish and had basically dropped out of school. I wanted to do what I wanted to do, no matter who I hurt or how I treated people, and not only just people, but my family.

I remember how I felt seeing “3+ weeks pregnant” on my positive pregnancy test. I was flooded with hundreds of emotions all at once, but the two emotions I remember that really stood out and shocked me were courage and hope. The courage to do what I knew was right came to me immediately. I was going to raise my baby no matter what sacrifices I needed to make. At such a young age people sometimes confuse that courage with immaturity. Over and over again I was told, “You don’t know what you are getting yourself into”, “Children shouldn’t raise children” or “You are only a child yourself, you don’t know what you’re in for”. Thankfully I had close family who did believe in me and didn’t make me feel like I was just young and naïve thinking that I could make such a life changing decision. The most shocking feeling of the two though was hope. I hadn’t ever taken the time to realize how unhappy I really was until I was forced to step back and re-evaluate my priorities and my life. As surprising as it was, I felt hopeful. I had hope for a new life and a new sense of purpose and happiness. Of course I would never recommend purposely getting pregnant at such a young age, but already finding myself in that situation I had to make a choice. I could either let pregnancy ruin me, or use it to motivate me.

Courage and hope are so significant to me because they are the two emotions that stuck out to me in the most life changing moment of my life. Because I was able to find courage and hope my life changed in an incredible way. I started going back to school, making up for the time I had missed with 2 years of summer school. I was able to grow as a person in a way that I would have never imagined and my relationship with my son’s father grew so much stronger. I was opened up to a whole new definition of the word love, and I fell in love with being a mom to my perfect little son.

Now, being the seventeen year old mother of a one year old in a 3 year relationship in high school I have the courage to speak up when I hear people talking about how teen pregnancy ruins your future. I have had people ask me “How does it feel knowing that you’ve ruined your future?”, and it almost makes me laugh because I know what they don’t. Before my son, I had no future. I had no hope or courage. I had no plans for high school let alone college. Although some people may not see it, I know that having my son in high school did not take away my future; he just gave me a new one.

By Brooklyn Wickersham

http://www.circleofmoms.com/teenage-mothersyoung-mothers/a-must-read-poem-for-young-mothers-425253

 

 

Comfort Zone

You see, it takes a lot of courage to build yourself and to get out of your comfort zone, but usually a lot of people got out of theirs when they were little and for me, well I guess you could say it stuck to me like a leech. Getting out of our comfort zone will be a pain and we’ll fail at some point, but all those fails will make us learn to become stronger and to succeed and be our best.

 

Ever since I was little, I've always been shy. I’ve met a few friends in elementary, who at some point in my school years I don’t talk to anymore. I haven’t actually gotten the courage to get out of my comfort zone yet. It’s pretty hard because to me, it feels like I make things awkward and that annoys me the most. I would have things to say, but I would get tongue tied or very nervous which I hate as well. You see I’m not the type to make a conversation around people I don’t know because I guess I’m just comfortable with the people around me like my family and friends. Throughout my elementary and junior years I’ve always told myself to try and get out of my comfortable zone, but I ended up failing.

 

It takes a lot of courage to get out of our shyness and I noticed that if we don’t try to succeed in something were not courageous about, well then what's the point in trying? We’ll be stuck in regret because we didn’t try to do our best, but I guess in our life we’ll end up succeeding without knowing it. I’ve noticed that with myself because some people noticed I’ve changed, that I’m slowly getting out there and slowly interacting with people and others say I’m still shy, but that doesn’t matter to me. I hope that I will come out of my little shell by the time I’m done high school because that would mean a lot to me and mean that I’ve succeeded.

By Shalaine Weasel Head

Being courageous is to face your fears and come out on top. Everyone has a fear of something.  Flying, spiders, even heights, see I’m not scared of any of those ,what scares me the most is the fear of failing. Yes it might be a stupid fear, but I haven’t been good at school, I’ve failed more tests then I can remember and that’s possibly how I formed this fear.

 

The fear of failing is what haunts me every daythat I wake up and go to school. I walk in the those doors every day and go to class, but I go in with a fear of failing everything I have to do that day.  The fact that I’m a perfectionist and want everything to be perfect and to the best of my ability makes it really hard to get over this fear. It’s like its one big nightmare that I can't wake up from. I try and try to succeed; I put myself out there every chance I get to maybe accomplish something and raise my confidence, but I just start thinking negative thoughts: “How will I even pass this..I fail at everything else.” Maybe that’s another reason i'm drowning in this sea of fear I've made myself.

 

My girlfriend says “Austin you're too hard on yourself” and maybe I am..but isn't it good to push yourself and strive for greatness?  The problem there is that my negative thoughts getsin the way of that and I end up failing once again. Just once in life I wish I accomplished something great..something that not only made my self proud, but actually made my parents proud. This is where courage comes in I'm currently trying to get accepted into a year long exchange to a foreign country to learn the culture and language.  I'm putting myself out there and trying my hardest to keep positive and telling myself I can do this.  I will overcome this silly fear.  I will conquer it and then the adventure can start.

By Austin LaMontagne

 

Finding Our Courage Through Others

Being able to posses courage and hope throughout your life is one of the most significant abilities that a human can really have. There are definitely times in my life where I might have been able to show the slightest bit of courage, but the times where I wish I was able to show courage definitely out weigh the times that I have. So far, in the short 17 years I have lived the times I lack great amounts of courage is really the only thing that comes to mind. Every day I feel like no matter what I try to do throughout the day I'll fail at it. Everyday I contemplate the thought if I should really even try anymore. Everyday it is a constant battle trying to convince myself that maybe I can be good enough, smart enough, or even in good enough shape to try and conqure the day. Out of every single situation that life has thrown at me I think having to write about myself is definitely the most difficult thing I have ever encountered. It is really challenging to try to write and put thought into something that you really have no interest in, something that really doesn't matter to you that much.

The last three years of my life have definitely changed in the most positive way. Meeting my girlfriend has brought me to finally realize that life isn't all that bad. Whenever life throws something at me I just realize how lucky I am to already have my life planned out at the age of 17 and to actually be happy with who I get to spend my life with. Having the opportunity to find someone in my life that is so perfect to me is definitely the most ecstatic feeling that I have every experienced. Not only is she my girlfriend, but she is my best friend, and maybe one day I would be lucky enough for her to be my wife. Out of everyone in my life she is the only person who has ever been able to teach me to believe in myself and convince me that I am a better person than I think I am. She shows me so many things about myself that I am completely blind to. Without her I don't know if I would ever be able to find the courage to keep fighting all of the thoughts that my head is constantly swamped with every day. She shows me hope in myself that no one has every been able to show me.
By Nathan Harper

Our Words

Although the world is evolving, language almost seems to be going reverse through time. Language is a powerful way to express ourselves to each other and sometimes people forget how powerful our words truly are. The problem is that we misuse words which can really upset some people. A big example I would use is when someone is upset with something, and says "I'm just gonna kill myself". I would think that that is one of the most disrespectful ways to use our words. However, that isn't the only one. On a daily basis, you hear people say how "depressed" they are, or how much "anxiety" they have, or that they have OCD because they brush their teeth twice a day. The people who use these phrases hardly understand the feelings behind it. Depression consists of so much more than being unhappy. It consists of exhaustion, unhappiness, little to no motivation, constantly hurting yourself either mentally or physically. Anxiety is more difficult than asking someone on a date. Anxiety can make you afraid every day. It could convince you that your mother hates you, that you aren't good enough, that everyone is laughing at you all the time, that a crowded room is staring at only you, etc. Anxiety is a stronger sense of stress, which can negatively impact your body. OCD is a lot more than how often you do something. It makes you feel as if you NEED to do this now or else something terrible could happen. The problem with our society is that nobody takes the time to think about how their words affect other people.

Thinking back on my life, I realize that I did not develop anxiety, I was born with it. I have social anxiety, which makes me fear public speaking, getting myself noticed, having the courage to make new friends, and anything to do with other people. Even when I was young I would cry when people laughed because I thought they were laughing at me. I remember one of my dad's friends had a small party and everyone brought their kids. I must have said something funny, because everyone started to laugh and I burst into tears. I ran away to a random room in the house and locked myself in there because I felt embarrassed. There was a gecko in the room I had run in, so I started playing with it. When my dad came to talk to me I refused to leave the gecko for some odd reason. I guess I didn't have the courage to face them again.

Throughout school I never had the courage to make new friends. I knew everyone in my class and that was good enough for me. I didn't have a best friend until grade 3, and we fought a lot but we have been friends ever since. When she started having new friends I got really scared and jealous, because I knew I would have nobody if I didn't have her. I started to get really "clingy" and try to meet her new friends, but I could never be around them for too long, for fear that they might judge me or something. When junior high came, she started dating a lot. We starting hanging out less and less. I guess I was jealous that she could meet new people and always have new things in her life, because mine was like a routine. However, I never had the courage to say anything. All I wanted was my best friend but I felt like those heartbreaking boys were more important. When we ended grade 9, we got in a big fight and didn't talk until nearly the middle of grade 11. She found out about the issues I had with myself and had enough courage to reach out to me. Things slowly got better for me after we started talking again, bt grade 10 had severely changed my life. It was filled with a sense of loneliness, emptiness, numbness. I had stopped caring for myself completely. I won't go into detail, but I'm sure you can figure out the horrible things I had done to myself. I had lost all hope for myself, and courage wasn't even in my vocabulary. In English 20-2, I was having a really bad day. My emotions were bouncing off the walls, and it just wasn't a good day. My boyfriend was in California so I hadn't been able to talk to him lots, but he had sent me a text, so of course I answered it. He said he could talk for a bit, and I didn't care about the short story we were reading anyways. He was trying to make me feel better, because he knows how hard it impacts me, and the teacher took my phone away. Everyone thought I over reacted when I stormed out of class, but what I really did was run to my friend's class. For some reason I was having a horrible anxiety attack and I didn't know what else to do. Luckily for me, her class wasn't doing any work so I ran to her crying,  asking if it was okay to take her out of class. I'm not sure what happened, I just remember hugging in the hallway for an unrealistic amount of time. After that happened, I knew I needed to change myself and get a grip on my condition.

I started doing very well in school. I went from regular 50's to regular 80's. I formed a better relationship with my mom. I tried to make myself eat healthier and get more exercise. I started taking care of my body, from the outside in. If I felt like I looked good and it gave me confidence so I could have the courage to start my day off well. Also, it gave me courage to stop staring at the ground, and smile at others when I walk past them. I have also gained the courage to reach out to others who feel the same way I did. By doing this I have made a couple more friends. Not a bunch, but very good close friends who I know are always there for me.

Although I still suffer from social anxiety, I feel as if I can function properly. I still go to unfamiliar places with unfamiliar people and sit by myself, but I have gained enough courage to smile at them the next time I see them. I still struggle to make friends and sometimes I just wake up and have a bad day, but while I was growing up my mother taught me that tomorrow is a new day, with new gifts and experiences. I may have quite a few bad days, but with loving people surrounding me, it is not a bad life.

 

By Brooke Belsher

 

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aX7jnVXXG5o 

Filmmaking

         I am very passionate about filmmaking. Movies are something that make me very excited. Not just the movie itself, I mean like the whole movie making process. Movies have always been a big part of my life, in a big way! Whenever I was going through something bad in my life I would always watch a movie to distract my problems for an hour or two; I still had to face my problems eventually, but I would always be more clearly minded and make better with choices after watching a good flick. I want to be a filmmaker when I’m older, like a director because then I could make a movie for someone else to help get through their problems. The only challenge is that lots of people try to be filmmakers and they don’t really “make it” too often, it’s hard to make that job into a career. I still have this passion for movies though, every aspect of filmmaking makes me love it, whether it be: writing the story, creating the screenplay, editing the whole movie or helping with the special effects; I love it all and really wish to be in the movie making process sometime in my life. I stick with this passion because films can really teach you a lot in a somewhat small amount of time. For example, I recently went through a breakup and immediately after (when I was “heartbroken”) I watched my favorite movie of all time: Forrest Gump, and it distracted me from the break up for a while, because of the great story, and I was calm after it finished and learned to value the things you have after you lose something very important to you, that life keeps going and you have to face responsibility after a loss. (All that from a 2 hour movie)

Movies can teach you so much in a small period of time. When I watch a movie, I don’t just look at the movie, I try to understand the movie! I try and find a message or point behind it and see if it applies to my life and it can help out a lot when I don’t know what to do. I can just look at a meaning from something from a movie and use it and apply it to myself to better my life. A movie can really affect a person’s emotions too, like when you watch a football movie and you suddenly feel motivated after, or watching a horror movie and being scared and paranoid when it’s over. Movies can be used to make courage and hope as well. (Like I was saying before on how I try and apply a meaning from a movie into my life) I watch movies to encourage myself to do better, when I can relate to a movie I feel like I can relate and do the same thing (to an extent), lke standing up to a bully.  I get this emotion from a movie and I use the same emotion give myself courage in certain obstacle or challenge. When I watch a movie with a happy ending, I usually get a sense of hope like everything is going to go okay, no matter the situation, there always that aura of hope floating around when the credits start rolling.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YpDglL8gY8o

 

 

A Lesson In Saying Goodbye

“…Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:7-9)

This particular quote is very significant to me because I can connect to it in a way that has brought me peace and understanding within myself.

The loss of a loved one will leave you feeling empty inside. As if the world will never be the same again and nothing will ever be able to heal your pain. The truth is that time heals all wounds and the world keeps going as if nothing happened. The power of courage and hope is very beneficial; when used right, it can allow you to achieve things that you weren’t initially capable of. It can change and revise your whole perception on life and your way of going about things. My perspective on life and my faith have drastically changed through keeping hope and courage. I never would have known I’d be saying this but, in the midst of unexpected tragedy, I do believe somewhere inside me that some good has come out of it.

Not many people that are close to me know that I have two sisters. They’re only aware of one because well my older one passed away when I was just 8 years old.  Her name is Misty and she was 17 when her life was taken away in a car accident.

I can vividly remember that one night where my whole world came tumbling down. It was around 2 am in the morning when we heard knocking at the door and realized that it was the police. I was young, so I had no idea what was going on until eventually the officers broke the bad news. I remember there were two friendly female social workers that had come with the police and they gave my sister and I teddy bears and they were talking to us, trying to keep us calm and relaxed. I really didn’t know how to react or take it because it all came so unexpected and soon. All the hope and courage that I had was immediately stripped of me and I felt so alone because I was really close to her. There were countless memories that we’ve shared together and I just couldn’t imagine a life without her. She would always tell me silly jokes and funny things that she came across and I loved that. Her humor was the best thing about her. There can be days where my whole household is in a bad mood and she would just crack one of her jokes and the entire atmosphere reciprocated. The next couples years after that, the amount of grief and sadness that I’ve felt was heavier than ever because I felt like I couldn’t go to anyone else. Even though I had my friends and the rest of my family. I had a connection with Misty that I had with no other. I felt like I could tell her anything and bring my problems to her because she would always have an answer for me. She was into writing and poetry, so she would come up with these cheesy, prudent literary writings that fit my exact problem, that’s what I loved about her. I just loved being a little gremlin towards her with my other sister Mackenzie. We would sneak down into her room and scare her and all these little annoying things that children do. She would get really mad at us eventually but it was worth it. I kept thinking about all the times that we’ve spent with her and it’s only making me miss her more. I always thought what if she hadn’t gone out that weekend with her friends? That very thought has been deep down inside me for as long as I could think. It’s just so hard to grasp everything and take it in because it’s not what I want. I just want her back, nothing else.

As I slowly and surely starting growing up, I felt physically and emotionally shattered, and now this tragedy sent me teetering on the brink. There was no place to put this senseless loss. All I could feel besides grief was anger. I was angry at people around me and so many things that were so darn unfair, but what really stopped me in my tracks was the realization that I was really mad at God. He could have stopped that tragedy from happening, but He didn’t. To tell the truth, God did not seem good to me at that time. In my heart, I knew that He was a good God, but in the face of such devastation, it was hard to convince my mind. Nothing can destroy our faith as much as when we begin to doubt God’s goodness. Along the path of suffering, we stand at a fork in the road. We have two choices. Do we lose hope and courage and believe God doesn’t exist, or worse, that He has abandoned us, or do we determine to believe, hope, and trust Him at all cost?

The news that was given to us was that there were six people in the car when it rolled multiple times and ended in the ditch. It was my sister and 5 of her friends. My sister had a friend by the name Chantel and they had the same body size and everything. The other four were 2 guys and a girl. When they crashed, one of the two girls died at the scene instantly and the other didn’t. At the time, the police weren’t able to identify which were which so they eventually told us that my sister was the one that died on the scene. We were all in shock and disbelief. The whole situation was all a misunderstanding and they actually got my sister and her friend mixed up. My sister did not pass away on the scene, instead was airlifted and taken to Calgary Children’s Hospital. We were told my sister was dead, so after a day or two we were then beginning to plan the funeral and all that stuff. Chantel’s family was at Calgary hospital in the room where my sister was, thinking that it was their daughter. I honestly don’t know how they didn’t know because they were there holding her hand thinking that she’s alive. But their daughter died instantly in the crash. We eventually figured out the whole situation and was then reunited with my sister in the hospital. My entire family and extended family were driving all over the place and calling each other trying to find out what was happening. I can still remember everything so clearly, as if it happened just last week. My sister was in critical condition and was in a coma. I remember being at her bedside, holding her hand and just hoping that she’d open her eyes and wake up. I didn’t know it was possible to say as many prayers as I did that night. I’d be holding her hand and it’d twitch and move sometimes and my hopes were suddenly lifted then dropped when she didn’t do anything. There was really nothing we could do because she was basically alive through the machines. The hardest thing that I had to sit there and go through was the decision on whether or not to pull the cord. Eventually they did and my sisters final zigzag lines became a linear line, followed by that indicated sound of no heartbeat.

Eventually after a few years, I started my first year of junior high school. I never ever talked about my sister passing away because it was just too hard. I just couldn’t forgive myself for some reason and I knew that it wasn’t my fault. The very feeling of grief and sorrow was the core of my body and it felt like whatever I did, I found myself feeling sad. Every time I even tried to think about it, a tear would come to my eye because I just haven’t accepted the fact that she’s gone and isn’t coming back. I found myself praying to God a lot more when I was by myself and always questioned God. Why did you have to take her? I wouldn’t allow myself to let her go and always wondered if she was okay. My hope and courage was very little at this point in time and I felt unsure of what to do anymore. Everything changed during this one night and I think strengthened my hope, courage and faith in the Lord. I was sleeping and I had a dream about my sister Misty. In my dream, everything around me was pearly white and to me, it appeared to be heaven. I saw my sister I’d say 10 feet away from me and she was smiling and seemed so happy. I sure was happy and excited to see her. All I was thinking about was running up to her and giving her the biggest hug I could squeeze out of me, but I couldn’t. Something wouldn’t let me go close to her, like it were a barrier between life and death. I kept calling out to her all these questions and asking her if she okay but all she did was smile at me. The only words she spoke to me were, “don’t worry or cry anymore, I’m okay.”

Then I woke up. I immediately felt a feeling of relief and peacefulness, as if weights were lifted off my shoulders and I could live and breathe again. After that, I felt myself not becoming as sad and thinking about all that happened. This particular dream has really made me think differently on death and that there quite possibly is a life after death. My faith in God has improved significantly and the hope inside me as risen to new heights.

            Without hope and courage in our lives, we place a limitation upon ourselves in the things that we can do and grow from. In order for us to grow and have sudden realizations in life, we must have that hope and desire to do things and let ourselves become better and mature out of it. Like I said before, I believe something good has come out of my sisters passing in that I’ve become more mature and open-minded in all that I do. Your life can change drastically at any moment. Don’t take life or the people that you love for granted; you’re only here once. Losing Misty taught me that living everyday intentionally and purposefully is what I intend to strive for. I am sorry that I had to lose her to realize that. It has been 9 years since that day, and sometimes I still hope it was all a dream. But nothing is more certain in life than death. My sister was one of my best friends and it hurts me that she is going to miss out on my high school graduation and my entrance to post-secondary. It also hurts me that she won’t be here for when I get married or start a family, but I know she is up in Heaven watching over me and waiting for the day until I can be with her again…

By Skylar Firstrider

Pushed Out of the Nest Too Early

        The thought of me being courageous is sort of improbable, at least for me. I was and sometimes still am a person who would rather keep to myself - secluded and isolated from others. So the thought of me being bold, lionhearted or audacious is simply crazy. But a sudden thought arouses in my head of a time I was courageous and in a way heroic.

It began when I was in grade five. My parents had officially split up and my dad ended up taking the four of us: Dustin, Mariah, Dalton and myself. Technically it was just Dalton and I because both Dustin and Mariah ran off living with either their friends or other relatives. For some odd reason I was kind of happy they did because Dustin was an angry person all the time, hardly smiled, so I couldn’t stand to be near him, not only that but he scared me when he yelled. And Mariah, she always would take my things without asking so with her not being there, there was no issue.

At first it was normal. Dalton and I caught the bus in the morning to school while my dad went around town in search for a job. We’d come home, eat, clean, watch TV or play the game consol. Until a couple of months went by and we’d come home to no food to eat or nothing to do due to no electricity. My dad was still unemployed. This was weird because he would never be home as though he did have a job. He’d come home late in the night and leave early in the morning. This was my courageous act, without thinking I became a mother to my brother. I did whatever I had to do to make sure Dalton had something to eat. It was tough though because at time is was if we were living in poverty.

         At other times though, it was easy. I’d make a simply dish with whatever we had in the cupboards like ichiban, mac and cheese or even just cereal. I’d also make sure we had clean laundry for the day after.

         It took courage to do what I did. I had a choice, to either take care of my brother or be selfish and leave him to fend for himself; I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t leave my 6 years old brother alone like that, so I took on a really big responsibility and I believe it had to take a whole lot of audacity to do so.

 

By Anesia Young Pine