My Monsters

We all have monsters to battle and conquer in life. Some are internal and some may be people or tasks in your everyday life. For me, some of my biggest monsters are within myself. I have never really been one to talk to anyone about my personal life. I guess this brings us to my first internal monster, which is trusting people. I feel like I have a hard time trusting people, even my own family sometimes. I am young, so my life entails a lot of mistakes and wrong decisions. When we mess up in life the last thing we want is to be constantly reminded and ridiculed for it, but this seems to happen to me with my family. A month ago I went and got a tattoo done, and I proudly went and told my older sister about it and all she did was call my tattoo artist down, and then bullied me about my decision in artists. This wouldn’t have bothered me if she had just expressed her opinion nicely, but no. She went and talked behind my back to her friends and they started posting rude things over social media about it. How am I supposed to feel like I can talk to someone, of all people my older sister, when she goes and tells her friends everything I tell her?   Another example would have to be trusting my mom enough to talk to. I have an even harder time opening up to my mom because she is always so negative. I can tell her something good that happened today and get not even a look in response. Sometimes if I ask a question, she doesn’t realize it, but she almost sounds angry I even asked. Other times, I have told her something in confidence and she will have already gone and told my grandma and her sisters. Where is the trust? Mom’s are supposed to be caring, supportive and trusting, not tell you all of the bad and leave out the good advice and certainly don’t tell anyone your secrets. A teenage girl needs her mother to be her best friend, not her enemy. It has taken me some time, but since being on my own I have learned that having the courage to talk to people about what is bothering me is only going to benefit me in the long run. I will no longer have to carry whatever is on my shoulders alone.

-By F.S-E