The Never Ending Tunnel

Today I have chosen to write on how I had to find a little bit of courage and hope throughout my life. In the start I remember when my parents, older brother, younger sister, and I used to live in the trailer park. (My other little brother was born in a house after the trailer park.) My older brother was my leader. I would basically follow him and hang with the people he would be with. I didn’t learn to communicate properly yet because my speech and language was delayed due to my severe-to-profound hearing loss, which I was born with. When my brother did all the talking, I felt comfortable to just hang out in the conversation and not add much. School became increasingly hard to make good connections with other school mates. I was young and not confident interacting with others one-on-one.

                Eventually, I did have my own friend in junior high. Nic was my friend in middle school for at least the whole grade nine year. He and I connected through playing the Halo series and making non-stop jokes at school and out of school. I had the mindset that everything was a joke and that nothing really mattered to me. I had hoped for a good friend in my life that I could do things with; however, by part way through grade ten, we weren’t hanging out as much anymore. I began to take the relationship I had for granted

                I started to connect with another guy that I’d always gone to school with who was in my classes, rode the same bus as me, and played the same video games I did. At first things seemed to be just fine, and I ended up having three really good friends. I was glad I had taken the risk to chat about video games while riding the bus, and I felt hopeful that I would have some friends to finish out my school years with. After a while I started smoking pot occasionally with my friends. It was so easy for me to get, and I didn’t think it was a problem.  I ended up being betrayed about one and a half years later by my friends when they decided to invade my back yard and steal some personal things from me. When I realized that I was doing things that I had told myself that I would never do, as well as not getting things done that I had hoped to accomplish by my age, I knew I had betrayed myself. I didn’t know what to do next.

                After this occurred I had to take a pause, and get some serious help. My mother helped me a lot and brought me up a bit, to at least build a rebound in my life. The first thing I knew I wanted to do was get a job. It took courage to face my fear of interacting with others and knowing what to say, especially in the interview! I received encouragement and guidance, and I got a job at Staples as a cashier. I learned quickly how hard it was to work and stay focused, being expected to provide proper customer satisfaction and to keep composed and clean all throughout a shift. This experience had a good impact on me. I hoped to be kept on, but the position ended, so I hope to get a new job soon, I feel more confident that I will know more this time around.

                I choose to go solo in my last year of school to be focused and work diligently. I see places such as Sweden or Ireland, and I think it would be a good place to live and have a fresh new start. I choose to stay positive, continue to move forward with courage, and to face any mistakes. I will not let my mistakes define me. I choose to not live in the past, and to face the hardships that may come, so I can become who I am purposed to be.

“Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow; it empties today of its strength.” ~ Corrie Ten Boom

“No amount of security is worth the suffering of a mediocre life chained to a routine that has killed your dreams.” ~ Maya Mendoza

-Glen Clark

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vXKzECf8oI4