When I was younger, I felt like I had a lot of problems. I was too scared to tell anyone how I really felt. I was scared that they were just going to tell me that I was being soft. One time while I was at my grandparent’s house for the night, my grandma noticed that I was acting different than normal. She looked at me and said, “Kyle, how is everything?” I gave her the same reply that I normally gave her that I was “Ok”. After a while when it was just the two of us, I broke out into tears and told her everything that was going on in my life. I expected her to give me the same answer that everyone else gave me - just suck it up. Instead, she looked at me and gave me a little grin. She told me that everything was going to be okay and comforted me and told me that if I ever needed someone to talk to who I wouldn’t feel judged by, that I could always talk to her. After that night, I started talking to her all the time and she kept her promise and continued to comfort me for a little less than three years.
One night, the house phone rang and all I remember hearing was the door to the house swinging open and slamming shut. My brother and I walked into my mom’s room and asked her what happened. She told us, while trying to hold in her tears, that our Grandma passed away. I was nine at the time, so I didn't know how to take it. All I remember was our last conversation about what we normally talked about - how I was doing in school. Looking back on it now, I should have been asking her how she was doing instead of focusing on myself. She always put me first over herself and I will bring that to my children because that's what she taught me. She also gave me hope in the way that since her death I don't hold in how I really feel because it would be more painful than telling the people who are there for me. I also gained courage from all those times when she told me to push myself and to stop staying in my shell because I was a shy kid when I was younger. I always remembered what she told me and as I grew up, and I became more social, all thanks to my grandma.
This was one of my grandma's favorite songs and when I hear it I think about her.
-Kyle Schreiber
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