A few more months from now and I will be graduating from high school. I’ve heard some of my friends lay out their future plans. Some will be pursuing university degrees, while others are ready to learn technical skills that interest them, and some will be working for a year before pursuing something else. I look at them and I’ve come to realize that I don’t really know what to do after June. My parents have suggested to pursue a career in healthcare and I have started the applications. I agreed since right now I am in a limbo and I can’t really say what I’d like to do after high school. All I know is I want to attend a university or a college and earn a degree. The future scares me and the lyrics from the song "Whisper": “Well I’ve got open eyes and an open door. But I don’t know what I’m searching for” sums up my feelings. Listening to my parents argue on why a career in healthcare is good makes sense, but is this what I want? Do I even know what I want? If I am being honest with myself what truly scares me is after I get a degree will I be successful in my field? Will I come close to being as successful as my father? Will I be earning enough to provide for a family? Will I be able to give my children a comfortable life like my parents gave me? My mom says I am too young to be worrying about those things, but when I think about the future these questions always enter my mind and it truly scares me. She is always saying that with age comes maturity and when it does come I will be ready. But will I? My dad once told me: “ All I want you to be is to be a better man than me.” My parents believe in me so much, but I always doubt myself and just like how the song says: “well it’s hard to find a reason, when all you have is doubts.” As I am writing down my thoughts about the future I have come to realize that maybe if I doubt myself less then I might be able to see a brighter future ahead of me. Why fear a page when it has not even been written yet? My future is what I make out of it. I am the author of my future and I will make sure that all the pages are written well because I believe in myself.
-Jacob Villar
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