I'm scared of life, I've always been. I have so many monsters inside my head that it makes it really hard to choose one and just write about it. I would say insecurity has always been my biggest monster and my body my worst enemy, best combination ever to make your life a nightmare. I'm not sure when I started to feel bad about myself because I don't think I've ever felt good, but I remember I starting messing everything up when I was fourteen. I used to be very shy, terribly shy. For me it was hard to make friends. It was hard because I couldn't really talk to people, but at the same time I felt they had to instantly like me. It wasn't that bad because at least I had a couple of friends, or that's what I thought, but they criticized me behind my back. They made fun of me, made fun of how I looked. I got obssessed, and I made my body pay for all of that. I started doing things nobody shoud do, and it's funny for me to say that because nowadays I still think of doing it sometimes. I felt attacked all the time. I didn't even want to see people. People made me feel everything was wrong with me. Every time I heard my name in sombody's conversation, or when people looked at me for no reason, or when somebody was laughing next to me and I didn't know what was going on... that was the worst. Some people are just able to ignore what others say about them, I wish I knew how to do that. Now it's been three years since that happened and those monsters are still there.-By Ari
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